Quote of the Day - Immigrant In a Jar Edition

“Now it seems to me that if we are so advanced with technology and manpower and competence that we can capture illegal grasshoppers from Brazil, in the holds of ships that are in a little small place in Port Arthur, Texas on the Sabine River. Sabine River, madam speaker, is the river that separates Texas from Louisiana. If we’re able to do that as a country, how come we can’t capture the thousands of people that cross the border everyday on the southern border of the United States? You know they’re a little bigger than grasshoppers and they should be able to be captured easier. And maybe we need to make the guy down there in southeast Texas that captured this grasshopper from Brazil, he oughta be in charge of Homeland Security. If he’s able to do this with grasshoppers just think what he can do on the southern border of the United States.”

— United States Congressman Ted Poe, Thursday, April 29, 2010.

(HuffPo Via Wonkette)

Do You Miss Him Yet?

If you do, watch out for November, when his book comes out.

In gripping, never-before-heard detail, President Bush brings readers inside the Texas Governor's Mansion on the night of the hotly contested 2000 election; aboard Air Force One on 9/11, in the hours after America's most devastating attack since Pearl Harbor; at the head of the table in the Situation Room in the moments before launching the war in Iraq; and behind the Oval Office desk for his historic and controversial decisions on the financial crisis, Hurricane Katrina, Afghanistan, Iran, and other issues that have shaped the first decade of the 21st century.

President Bush writes honestly and directly about his flaws and mistakes, as well as his accomplishments reforming education, treating HIV/AIDS in Africa, and safeguarding the country amid chilling warnings of additional terrorist attacks. He also offers intimate new details on his decision to quit drinking, discovery of faith, and relationship with his family.

A groundbreaking new brand of memoir, Decision Points will captivate supporters, surprise critics, and change perspectives on one of the most consequential eras in American history—and the man at the center of events.

It's dropping (as the kids say) Nov. 8, after Election Day. Considering how much of the Democrats victories in the last few elections are a direct consequence of Bush fatigue, this seems like a smart decision; but of course there are going to be the interviews and the excerpts and all that comes with a book release. It could hurt the Republicans in a big way, seriously.

The problem is, of course, that even in the absense of direct debate with the man, there are going to be pundits deifying him and trying to whitewash the things that Americans found so distasteful. Bush himself will be forced to either admit responsibility for the bank bailouts and the deficits and the Iraq war bungling or, more likely, insist that none of those things were bad and if they were, it was someone else's fault and the presidency is hard work. And if that happens, I think we keep the supermajority after all.

Well, it's early to say, and probably the ghostwriter is only half finished with the actual book anyway, so let's just put this on the back burner until after summer.

The Party of Personal Responsibility

Stephen Baldwin, the conservative Baldwin, has had to declare bankruptcy. However, he's not asking for government assistance! He wants you to bail him out directly!

He has been publicly ridiculed and insulted by people who think that he has been abandoned by God. A simple search through the internet will reveal that people not only mock Stephen, but mock God.

In response to this (with the permission of Stephen's ministry President Daniel Southern) we have established RestoreStephenBaldwin.org. A privately funded and managed website. Our vision is to see Stephen Baldwin publicly restored in front of millions. Stephen's platform will increase allowing him to reach even more people with the Gospel and God will get all of the glory. Publicly.

Hmmm... still, I have questions.

Q- Why does Stephen need personal wealth?
A- Stephen’s influence is in Hollywood. Hollywood worships money and without it you are seen as a loser and cannot be an effective influence to this group.

Q- How much money does he need?
A- From what I read in public court documents Stephen needs several million dollars to pay all of his creditors but he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job like faithfulness in the face of relentless loss and persecution.

Q- What percentage of a gift actually reaches Stephen?
A- 100% goes directly into his bank account through online gifting. The bank account was arranged by Daniel Southern. Daniel was Billy Graham’s Crusade Director for almost 20 years.

Q- Who paid for the www.RestoreStephenBaldwin.org site?
A- The site was built and funded by someone Stephen nor his staff have ever met.

Q- What % of Christians know the method God used to restore Job?
A- An incredibly small %.

Okay, I'm in. I can't stand the idea of giving up my hard-earned dollar to the government to help the poor, but I'm lining up to give it to the formerly rich. Or wait a minute... maybe I should do what they did in the olden days, and send Baldwin livestock!

Just A Reminder

Feel free to check back... updates daily!

Some Power Grab THAT Turned Out To Be

April 20 (Bloomberg) -- General Motors Co. repaid $5.8 billion to the U.S. Treasury and Export Development Canada, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Ed Whitacre wrote in the Wall Street Journal.

The company is paying back the loans “in full, with interest, years ahead of schedule,” Whitacre said in an opinion article in the Wall Street Journal. The two governments hold a majority of the automaker’s equity, he said.

And some financial boondoggle for that matter -- instead of a bailout, it was a profit-making deal for the US. Of course, the US still has a huge stake in banks, but Obama didn't negotiate THAT one.

Don't Worry, He's Not The Lizard

I wonder if this would be the stifling of free speech that the right has been so concerned with lately?

Actor Lance Baxter, otherwise known as "D.C. Douglas," currently known as the man who informs you how much Geico can save you on car insurance, left a message last month with FreedomWorks in which he asked the group how many "mentally retarded" people it had on staff and what it would do when a tea partyer "killed someone." On April 14, FreedomWorks put his voicemail online.

Today, Douglas reports he's been dropped from Geico's campaign. His dramatic news release is here; he claims to have been motivated by "the recent gay and racial slurs slung by Tea Party members at Congressman Barney Frank and Representative John Lewis during the Health Care Reform Weekend," and says he's "open to any attorneys taking on this case pro bono."

That'll teach him to express opinions!

Still considering the left has been publishing the phone numbers and addresses of those tea party members that Douglas was so upset about, I guess fair is fair. Since they've lost their jobs... oh sorry, I'm not even sure they HAVE jobs.

Side note, how can one guy have two names that both sound like soap opera characters? I bet his real name is Herb Schlosser.

A Little Somethin' Somethin'

Politics Is In a Holding Pattern

I don't know if I'm just getting tired of repeating my own points or if there is truely nothing happening lately, but I'm casting around for topics this week and nothin' comes. The only thing that outrages me is protests that Obama has raised taxes (he hasn't) and that he's taking away people's guns (he actually loostened gun laws). Pointing out to these guys that they're protesting nothing hasn't stopped them.

Look, I'm not saying the left didn't have knee-jerk reactions to Bush's policies. It's just that when they did it, it was to policies that the dude actually supported.

Victoria Jackson Used To Be Funnier

Victoria Jackson from Elizabeth Glover on Vimeo.

Dennis Miller too.

More Fun With Polls

This chick who writes in once in a while (this time calling herself George W. Bush) called my attention to another poll! If I were the RNC, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over this one either:

A new poll from Public Policy Polling finds just a small amount of daylight between the amount of people who would prefer Barack Obama or George W. Bush to be president. The national survey found that 48 percent prefer Obama as president, while 46 percent would rather it be Bush.

Good heavens, miss him yet? Well, probably not. A reliable poll generally has two characteristics - it samples at least a thousand people, and it's a random sampling. Fail on both counts. First off, the RCP article admits there were only 622 people questioned.

Here's the even sneakier part. Look at the PDF.

Q8 Would you describe yourself as a liberal, moderate, or conservative? If liberal, press 1. If moderate, press 2. If conservative, press 3.
Liberal ............................................................. 21% 
Moderate......................................................... 37%
Conservative ................................................... 42%

So according to the poll, more Americans are hard conservative than moderate? That's interesting. Most polling wouldn't come to that conclusion.  Nor would a typical random sampling get these results:

Q9 If you are a woman, press 1, if a man, press 2.
Woman ........................................................... 50%
Man................................................................. 50%

Q10 If you are a Democrat, press 1. If you are a Republican, press 2. If you are an independent or identify with another party, press 3.
Democrat ........................................................ 38%
Republican ...................................................... 38%
Independent/Other .......................................... 24%

No random sampling in the nation has numbers this even. People who self-identify as Republicans nowadays is around 26% this week, according to most everyone else. Weirdly Democrats and Independents are at 34% apiece, but you see where I'm going. I think this poll is weighted by inflating the opinions of a quarter of the respondents as though they were almost half.

Anyway, believe what you want I guess, but don't believe this poll.

The Tide Doesn't Turn In Florida

Democrat Ted Deutch won the nation's first congressional election of 2010, allowing his party to retain the overwhelmingly Democratic Palm Beach-Broward District 19 seat that "fire-breathing liberal" Robert Wexler represented for 13 years.

Incomplete returns late Tuesday showed Deutch with a sizeable lead over Republican Ed Lynch and no-party candidate Jim McCormick. Lynch conceded the race before 10 p.m.

...Even in the aftermath of Republican Scott Brown's shocking January Senate victory in heavily Democratic Massachusetts, few observers saw much chance for a similar Republican upset in congressional District 19, which voted 65 percent for Barack Obama in 2008.

"A closer race would've added to Democratic paranoia about their chances this fall, but the fact that Deutch performed close to the average for a Democrat in the district does not lessen the fact that nationally, GOPers are still likely to enjoy big gains in the general election," said Tim Sahd, editor of Washington-based House Race Hotline.

What does he mean, "close to the average"? Want to bet it's "better than average"? What's more, even if there are small gains people like Sahd (what kinda name is that, anyway? Terrorist?) will call them big gains. For the record (again) my prediction is Democrats will lose some seats to moderate Republicans but retain majorities in both houses.

Rasmussen Is The Oracle Of Our Times

Guess what? If the election was held today, Ron Paul could likely succeed Barack Obama as President of the United States! Who'd have thought?

Super-reliable Rasmussen's headline says it all: Election 2012: Barack Obama 42%, Ron Paul 41%. This clinches it - Republican party, forget Mitt Romney. Commit ALL YOUR RESOURCES TO CANDIDATE PAUL right now! This one's a winner!

A Point For Those Worried About The Middle East

Iran, “which holds the world’s second-biggest oil and gas reserves and supplies about 4.5 percent of the world’s oil production,” uses its oil power “as a strategic asset.” One mechanism to control the flow of petrodollars to Iran — whose oil production is worth $120 billion a year at current prices — is for the United States to control its appetite for oil. ThinkProgress has found that a carbon cap that reduces global warming pollution by 80 percent by 2050 would mean Iran would lose approximately $1.8 trillion worth of oil revenues over the next forty years — over $100 million a day...

And don't think that Iran doesn't have lobbyists, my friend. They're in there right now (probably paid by Iran but obstensibly working for somone else) fighting Cap 'n' Trade.

What the hell, let's just give 'em the nukes directly - we'll all be underwater by 2050 and they can't hurt us anyway.

Tea Party Not As Popular As You've Been Led To Believe

See below for a question from the most recent Fox News poll.

10. – 16. I'm going to read you the names of several individuals. Please tell me whether you have a generally favorable or unfavorable opinion of each one. If you've never heard of someone, please just say so. (RANDOMIZE)
SCALE: 1. Favorable 2. Unfavorable 3. (Can't say) 4. Never heard of 
*** SUMMARY CHART ***
Favorable
Barack Obama 50%
The Internal Revenue Service 49%
The Democratic Party 42%
The Republican Party 40%
The Tea Party Movement 36%
Nancy Pelosi 29%
Harry Reid 16%


Yes, even Fox News polls put Barack Obama, The Democrats, the Republicans AND THE IRS higher than the Tea Party. As I continually say, bias in news reporting doesn't make a difference. The IRS!!!! Don't forget to file this week.


Still, watch your back Harry Reid.

Jury duty part II

This is me NOT on jury duty. I was eventually picked to replace juror
#12 and dismissed 40 seconds later. See you next year, chums!

Quote of the Day

"I knew that we'd be buddies when I met her when she said, 'Drill here, drill now.' And then I replied, 'Drill, baby, drill' and then we both said, 'You betcha!'"

-- Sarah Palin, quoted by the Wall Street Journal, recalling a previous meeting with Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN).

h/t Taegan Goddard

My Goddam Civic Duty

Look, it's me. See those people behind me? Jurors.

Yep, we're all sitting in a big room in Van Nuys, waiting to be empaneled on a criminal jury. This is one of the great honor of our democracy, being allowed to participate in the justice system instead of turning it all over to corrupt officials. Part of the deal, I suppose is that while you have to endure the annoyance of hanging around this room all day (or god forbid, actually serving on a jury) you can at least rely on others doing the same when YOU are brought to trial for holding up a liquor store.

And really, is this any more annoying than my other plan, which was going to work and pushing that paper around for eight hours? I think not. In fact, this is a pleasant change of pace. I get to meet new people, I can surf the net on the county's Wi-Fi dime; it's actually the day off I needed. Plus, they tell us that we'll probably have a two-hour lunch.

The last time I did this I wound up on the same panel as Ray Romano (yeah, that one) and tellingly the lawyers knocked me off before Ray. Does it mean I am even more of a distraction than an internationally famous TV star? I'd like to think so. The jury is still out on that one.

No Complaining - Activism!

Internet radio needs your help. There's a bill working through congress which would tax the medium welllllllll beyond its income stream. Basically, it is an attempt to tax the competion out of existence, possibly in the hope that we'll all be forced to listen to Clear Channel again.

I don't want to listen to no Clear Channel.

Click the link to keep internet radio and college radio hummin'.

I Report, You Decide

Thanks to Ethan Persoff

How DARE You Stop Giving Government Money to Healthcare!

Here's a fun talking point.

On top of AT&T's $1 billion, the writedown wave so far includes Deere & Co., $150 million; Caterpillar, $100 million; AK Steel, $31 million; 3M, $90 million; and Valero Energy, up to $20 million. Verizon has also warned its employees about its new higher health-care costs, and there will be many more in the coming days and weeks.

Obamacare is already destroying big business! This is AWFUL!

I think the best source for an explanation for this comes from the same publication.

...When the Medicare Part D prescription drug bill passed in 2003, businesses were given a double subsidy to help cover the cost of providing prescription drug coverage to their retirees. The government picked up 28% of the cost of their retiree prescription drug plans, and businesses were allowed to both exclude that 28% subsidy from their income and at the same time deduct that subsidy from their income for tax purposes.

In 2013, that changes. Under the new law, businesses will still get the same 28% subsidy, and it will still be tax free. They just don't get to deduct the subsidy.

...This newspaper reported last Friday that while one company calculated a $100 million hit to its first-quarter earnings, its actual cost after taxes and subsidies, beginning in 2013, was closer to $7 million a year, or less than 1% of its profits last year.

Credit Suisse's response to the tax controversy was: "don't overreact to the hit on earnings." Morgan Stanley referred to it as "noise" that would have "no impact whatsoever" on their view of this earnings cycle. And UBS projected that the impact in virtually all cases represented less than 1% of market capitalization for affected companies.

So in other words, what's got conservatives worked up is that the government is no longer giving companies a tax break on the money the government is giving them. At first I thought they were upset that that government is stopping the subsidies entirely, but the government isn't even doing that! And why isn't that 28% a "government takeover of healthcare" - right, because it was Bush's government.

Marketing Finally Collapses on Itself

Unedited Footage Has A Liberal Bias

Evidence obtained by Brown tells a somewhat different story, however, as reflected in three videotapes made at ACORN locations in California. One ACORN worker in San Diego called the cops. Another ACORN worker in San Bernardino caught on to the scheme and played along with it, claiming among other things that she had murdered her abusive husband. Her two former husbands are alive and well, the Attorney General's report noted. At the beginning and end of the Internet videos, O'Keefe was dressed as a 1970s Superfly pimp, but in his actual taped sessions with ACORN workers, he was dressed in a shirt and tie, presented himself as a law student, and said he planned to use the prostitution proceeds to run for Congress. He never claimed he was a pimp.

As a right-leaning commenter says in the comments, "Editing raw footage to the point of dishonesty simply to make a partisan point? Who does he think he is, Michael Moore?" So now, the right is saying O'Keefe is as bad as Michael Moore! Fox will be rethinking that nightly show offer now!

The Dr. Dolittle School Of Geology

Here's how I think it works - anybody can get elected to Congress. However, if you display a certain IQ level you are given the go-ahead to run for the Senate. Rep Hank Johnson (D, GA) can look forward to a long career in Congress.

As an Wonkette commenter pointed out, this guy replaced Cynthia McKinney so it's still a step up!

...And The Crowd Goes Wild

I don't care how Sean meant it... the important thing here is how the crowd perceived it.