Nothing Freaks Me Like A Cephalopod

I grew up in the Monterey Bay Area, and I've seen some weird stuff. One year, there was a population explosion of bio-luminescent plankton, and for months the tide glowed eerily. Then the plankton population used up the oxygen in the bay and there was a mass grunion annihilation. Volunteers scooped up thousands of beached grunion.

But thankfully I don't live there now, because this terrifies me.

A mysterious sea creature, up to 7 feet long, weighing up to 100 pounds. It hunts in packs of hundreds, flying through the water at 25 mph, changing color.
With a parrot-like beak and arms covered with thousands of sharp barbs, it attacks and tries to eat nearly anything it sees, including fish, scuba divers, even its own kind.
But it's not a creature of Hollywood. It's real. And it's reached the Monterey Bay. The Humboldt squid, also known as the giant squid or jumbo squid, traditionally has lived in warm waters off South America and Mexico, where fishermen call it "diablo rojo," or "red devil."
For reasons that still aren't entirely clear, large numbers of the scrappy cephalopods have been steadily expanding their range north, first off San Diego and Los Angeles, where hundreds have washed up on beaches in recent years.

Squid and jellyfish are sooooo alien and amorphous that I can't deal with 'em. Don't ask me to explain it either. They're just creeeeeeeeeepy. And why no real plurals? What's up with that?

WAMK will be surprised to learn that a mainstream newspaper goes out of its way to dismiss Global Warming as a cause for the migration, blaming instead overfishing in diablo's native waters. I think it's more that they sense that their first major attack on humans would be better launched from somewhere closer to Silicon Valley. Once they take down our technology, then we will be helpless as babes, plump and primed for devouring. And I'm well aware that Los Angeles is right along their route.

The article is two days old, but I read about it today. It figures. Thursday... Cthulu, HP Lovecraft's eldritch God of the deep. Sweet Jesus, we must stop them now, before it's too late!

Then again, I live 30 miles from the beach and it's 100 degrees out here nowadays, so I can probabaly outrun my ectomorphic overlords if the time comes.

Okay, never mind. I'm fine now. Whew! Still... watch the aquariums.