Friday, October 24, 2008

I For One Will Welcome Our New Mulatto Overlords

There's all kinds of fun followups to stories I've been covering. Ashley Todd confessed to faking her Obamugging; Michelin Barkman (gosh-darn spell checker!) is buying national TV Time to apologize for believing something she was tricked into saying. And finally, Fox takes its first baby steps towards saying Obama is the anti-christ. Hint: he's not the Devil, but the Devil supports him.

So much followup, in fact, that I'm going to ignore it and move on to something more meaty.

I'm fortunate enough to be on arguing terms with Madeline's Dad again. One of his (not just him, LOTS of peoples) concerns lately is the the recent beefing up of police on election day. Police are apparently planning for celebrations/riots depending on whether Obama wins or loses. This is also a worry for my favorite PUMAs, Alix and Richard.

Look, I live in LA you guys. When this stuff happens it seldom lasts longer than a few days. Stock up on rice and bottled water, stay indoors. Since they're (you know what I mean by "they") too lazy to afford cars, they probably won't even make it out to your neighborhood.

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe like my ex-girlfriend said Obama is only going to help "his own kind." Mulattos? Hawaiians? I never quite pinned her down on that one. But if he does go down that path, how does America change? I have a few predictions.
  • Finally, Snoop Dogg gets to pen a new national anthem.
  • People who can't dance are rounded up into internment camps.
  • He paints the White House Black. (That's not mine, it comes from a humorous email I got.)
  • Every movie, EVERY movie that comes out has to feature either Morgan Freeman or Samuel L. Jackson.
  • White folks are deported to Europe, back where they came from.
Personally, I've always wanted an excuse to visit Europe, so I'm not seein' the downside. It's a shame what will happen to Rush Limbaugh (mugged, an entire pamphlet carved into his left cheek) but hey, he's a survivor. But maybe I'm looking at it through rose-colored glasses - how do you think we'll fare under the oppressive jazzy thumb of teh blacks?

11 comments:

  1. Once again, you have had a comprehension issue. I was making the point that if he wins, there will be riots, and if he loses there will be riots.

    Just pointing out the irony there, not that I am "concerned".

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  2. Maybe you were being ironic. I am completely sincere.

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  3. So you sincerely believe I am concerned about riots?

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  4. I'll put it this way: I HOPE you are, because it's ten times funnier.

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  5. Let me try one last time.

    I am not concerned about riots.

    I find it ironic that there are people who say there will be riots if Obama wins, and riots if Obama loses.

    Clear enuf?

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  6. It is pretty clear that "his own kind" is other communists that work in government. Everyone else is a target for destruction in Obama's little red book.

    Business owners? Ruin them with onerous taxation.

    check

    Parents? Take away their power to raise their own children.

    check

    Taxpayer? Load them up with more taxes and make them utterly dependent on govt.

    check

    Individuals? Erase them in favor of the collective.

    check

    Don't like any of that? He'll call you a racist and sic his police on you.

    check

    Riots? If they happen its white people's fault.

    check, check, double check

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  7. Publius:

    You forgot that they are also wanting to make 401(k)'s go away:

    http://wherearemykeys.typepad.com/where_are_my_keys/2008/10/have-a-401k-not-for-long-if-some-democrats-have-their-way.html

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  8. Riots no matter what, say "people": Ironic. Check.

    This 401k thing - it seems like a radical idea to me, and I wouldn't expect it to get far. I'm annoyed that you say "the Democrats want to take away your 401k where in fact, one person who is a Democrat is advancing the idea, and two more Democrats are reading it. You're kinda grasping at straws there, dude.

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  9. Je$$e Jack$on has for YEARS been trying to get the Gov't to steal people's pensions and 401Ks.

    My guess is, with a Barack "the Red" Obama getting in office, we WILL see this unAmerican plan launched.

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  10. $80 billion in untaxed funds, just sitting there.

    I'm sure all Barney Frank, et al, want to do is just hold it. Then they'll put it right back.

    They promise.

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  11. Jackson? WTF? Why did you drag him into this? He's not even in government!

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