They're Tryin' to Kill Me Jimmy!

Stuart Margolin as Angel, just to shore up the quote in the title

I have had a rough week. Sunday night I noticed the hot water had vanished in my apartment. No hot water! Rescue forces have replaced the heater but it's still only gradually returning to normal. I only have lukewarm water.

Meanwhile I come home last night to discover that the nerve center of my life is also down. My DSL modem has failed! ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG !!

As it happens, I have backup systems - my iPhone, the computer at work, Starbucks. I guess I have access to hot showers too, because of the gym membership, but this internet thing is driving me nuts. It's not just my computer, you know. Though that's a problem (almost everything I do on the computer hooks into the cloud somehow, and what's worse my printer is connected via Wi-Fi so I can't print) the TV and BluRay player are also internet-enabled. For some reason, my TV has decided that it's an hour later than it was a couple days ago, because it's not getting its time from a server online.

And remember, without a constant supply of new material from blogs and internet radio, my source of home amusement is television. And I DON'T HAVE CABLE. Why would I, right? Television is different than the internet. If someone says something stupid on TV, you can't answer back to them. You can't save funny screen grabs and email them to your friends. Ads show up whether you click on them or not. And without cable, it's almost impossible to find porn. I think it's pretty obvious now that Mubarak sealed his own doom when he shut down the internet in Egypt.

Someone report this whole blog to this guy, willya? I can't.

Thank God Trader Joe's is still open so I can still get Organic Kona Whole Bean Coffee. I suppose my grinder will go down next!