This Will Only Help the Birthers

That "anyone but Obama" thing has gotten a little more interesting this morning with news that Mitt Romney won the Iowa caucus. Mind you, just barely - he literally beat Santorum by eight votes. I'm still rooting for Santorum, because he smart! He win debate with Obummer! But Romney at least failed to get the Iowa beatdown that one might have expected, begging the question, what's the difference between Romney and Obama? They've both spearheaded a government-based health-care system (actually the same one!) they're both much too centrist for anyone's liking. Arguably neither one is a real Christian though they both are Christian.

Usually at this point in the narrative I'd call attention to Mitt Romney's more agreeable racial features, but it's clear what really turns off Republicans about Obama more than Romney - Romney hasn't secretly travelled to Mars.

Two former participants in the CIA’s Mars visitation program of the early 1980’s have confirmed that U.S. President Barack H. Obama was enrolled in their Mars training class in 1980 and was among the young Americans from the program who they later encountered on the Martian surface after reaching Mars via “jump room.”

Their astonishing revelations provide a new dimension to the controversy surrounding President Obama’s background and pose the possibility that it is an elaborate ruse to conceal Obama’s participation as a young man in the U.S. secret space program.

The ability to tranport to a different planet! It's not fair! The founding fathers didn't want one man to have that much power, because it's just one step away from time travel, which Obama employed to fake the evidence surrounding his "birth". In fact, the founding fathers had specifically mentioned it in the constitution, but it is mysteriously NOT THERE NOW.

Once can easily imagine a scenario where Obama went back in time and replace qualified Republican candidates with unappealing buffoons.