Flattest Tax Ever! A Modest Proposal

Okay, I think I've finally found a fair system everyone can agree on.

Everybody, no matter what they make, pays $30,000 year in Federal Taxes.

See! No one is is unduly penalized because they make too much money that way! This and my other modest proposal, to completely eliminate the minimum wage, will ensure prosperity and high employment for everyone.

Now obviously, there are going to be some "takers" who refuse to pay. "I don't have a job!" or "I only make $20,000 a year!" they'll claim. Or even "If I pay that much in taxes I won't be about to afford food or shelter!" You even hear that one in response to unfair percentage-based tax proposals, like Cain's 9-9-9 plan. Those people are deadbeats, and they must be dealt with. I'd say imprison them but that's a little pricey. Better to force them to take Government jobs. Let's start with postal workers and teachers! Any job that a union handles now.

Then if those jobs fill up, the Government can contract them out to Monsanto or Haliburton. We can get a bulk rate for them.