The title of an email I just got from Air America Media:
Rush Limbaugh Takes Another Shot On The Chin
How could they have walked away from the obvious line? Which would be, for the humor impaired: RUSH LIMBAUGH TAKES ANOTHER SHOT ON THE CHINS. See?
To be fair, the desperate and frustrated resort to those kinds of petty bon mots, and the left is still doing just fine at the moment.
I am frequently impressed by the ingenuity displayed by people in business. I have two examples in mind today, both involving clever advertising and prostitution. Let me add that while I have known a prostitute, I have never KNOWN a prostitute, if you can smell what the Rock is cookin’. So my interest is academic.
First, the occasion of my seeing a billboard for HUSTLER CASINO on the way over here. Gambling is illegal in California, except on Native American Reservations. And prostitution is illegal everywhere in the state. However, by buying a stake in a native American Casino and branding it, Larry Flynt is de-facto implying, “hey, this place is just like in Vegas! And you know what that means!” And though I haven’t driven out to Gardena I bet he’s right. Thus, they are cleverly advertising a service that they can’t even say exists.
However this is pretty weak sauce compared to a website I ran across a few weeks ago. Again remember that having sex for money is illegal; UNLESS you are producing pornographic entertainment. This company is running a “star in your own porno” ring. I’d link to it if I could remember the address, but it’s Encino based, and Encino is Reseda-adjacent. Reseda, 30 years after BOOGIE NIGHTS, is still mecca for porno.
So the pitch is, you can shoot a scene with one of their four “starlets” for only $150 (or some amount) and then they’ll release it on a compilation. If you want to shoot a scene JUST FOR YOURSELF, no public release, then it’s another $50. I suppose if you’d like them to shoot the scene and then just delete it, it’s even more.
Brilliant! Unless you’re a guy who wants to pay for sex but is also camera-shy. Or a celebrity.
And again if you’re thinking what I assume you are: I am not camera-shy, but it bugs me that I have to pay for a HAIRCUT. So put that idea outta your head.
Governer Rick Perry of Texas is asking the federal government for a loan.
Texas has known for months that the funds to pay unemployed Texans were running dry."The balance is depleting faster than we expected," Texas Workforce Commission officer Ann Hatchitt said.Texas is now asking the federal government for a $170 million loan so that benefits keep getting paid.Rick Perry... where have I heard that name before? Oh yeah!
Governor Rick Perry rejected federal stimulus money that would have replenished the fund. Perry said the stimulus would have expanded eligibility and cost more to business owners in the long run. Many are now questioning that decision.Rick Perry hates business, and endorses deficit spending! Wait a minute... that clever bastard! I forgot that he is also the guy who keeps threatening to secede from the union and make Texas a separate landlocked nation! Obviously his plan is to borrow the money, then secede, then just forget to pay it back. He doesn't want it for unemployment benefits at all - he's stealing for moving costs!
"That $555 million would that would have come with the stimulus money wouldn't have to be paid back to the federal government and that would have saved business taxpayers money for the next 20 years," said Rep. Mark Strama, D-Austin.
Even on Wall Street, the land of six- and seven-figure incomes, jaws dropped at the news on Tuesday: After all that federal aid, a resurgent Goldman Sachs is on course to dole out bonuses that could rival the record paydays of the heady bull-market years.
Goldman posted the richest quarterly profit in its 140-year history and, to the envy of its rivals, announced that it had earmarked $11.4 billion so far this year to compensate its workers.
...But Goldman’s sudden good fortune, coming only a month after the bank repaid billions of bailout dollars, raises questions for Washington policy makers. Goldman, analysts warned, is embracing financial risks that many of its competitors are unable or unwilling to take. While Goldman managed those risks this time, its strategy could backfire if the markets turn against it.
-New York Times
Sure I'm a little queasy about those huge bonuses, but this story appeals to me because it makes hash of an awful lot of Right Wing Talking Points. Stimulus money being thrown down a pit and we'll never see it again? Nope, we got this paid back, and fast. Business not allowed to pay back stimulus funds? Nope. Economy being made worse by stimulus? Apparently not. Obama using funds to control the rich? The rich, obviously, remain as uncontrollable as ever.
Oh how I wish I had cable so I could watch Hannity tonight and see him humbly admit that he was wrong.
In lieu of an idea: Sammy Davis Jr. sings Hawaii 5-0.
I’ll have ideas tomorrow. Check back then.
A week or two ago I was batting around the Mark Sanford scandal, and one of my Republican correspondants said, "well at least we drum out OUR scoundrels!" No, he didn't use the word scoundrel. I can't remember what he said exactly, but that was the gist. So let's see:
Mark Sanford - he's so out of office now! Except he's not quitting. And it looks increasingly unlikely that he will. Argentina is not a bridge too far, after all.
John Ensign - permission to jump ship? No, cap'n! Maybe he was going to quit but his parents forbade it, after having invested so much money in his job already.
Larry Craig - He's out! He's totally out! Man, is that guy out! Of office I mean. However, he left due to term limits.
I was going to say that no Republican quits when they're involved in an ethics imbroglio, but those kinds of generalizations are usually wrong.
Wow this is pretty snarky, even for me! I blame the material.
The Senate is rapidly approaching its summer recess, and there is so much legislation to complete before then! Pressing issues that affect us all include our economy, health care reform, even environmental issues. Still, wise lawmakers prioritize:
Senate Republicans have introduced legislation to ban the creation of human-animal hybrids.
Led by Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), 19 Republicans and 1 Democrat introduced a bill yesterday that would prevent U.S. researchers from developing embryos that use both human and animal material, a controversial practice underway in the UK.
Brownback has long been an opponent of stem cell research and human cloning, yet the idea of human-animal hybrids has gotten little media attention.
"What was once only science fiction is now becoming a reality, and we need to ensure that experimentation and subsequent ramifications do not outpace ethical discussion and societal decisions," Brownback said last year when he introduced similar legislation. "History does not look kindly on those who violate the dignity of the human person."
Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.), the only Democratic co-sponsor, has taken a similarly hardline stance against what she called "blending" of species.
"Here in the United States, we simply cannot open the door to the unethical blending of humans and animals, which the British government seems intent on doing," Landrieu said the last time she introduced similar legislation. "It creates an unnatural species and is a clear line we cannot cross."
The legislation, S. 1435, has garnered 20 co-sponsors so far, including John McCain and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)
Today marks the start of the Sotomayor confirmation hearings. I'm listening now as I blog and enjoy my morning yogurt. Now usually congressional hearings are a big puppet show, the definition of political theatre. They feign to be asking questions so they can get answers and determine a course of action based on those. And of course, normally, they have already determined the course of action a week or so before, or they're getting the answers they really need off the record, behind the scenes, under the counter. What we see is the congressional equivalent of Hulk Hogan vs the Undertaker. Psst - Hulk is gonna win!
Complain about digital TV service.
Like a lot of people who are interested in American politics, I'm reliving the culture wars of the late sixties. And to my credit, I give both sides a chance.
Narrowing down further, my internet radio tastes run almost exclusively to two stations: LuxuriaMusic.com and Technicolor Web Of Sound. Both focus on music from the late sixties/early seventies. Technicolor Web has the narrower mission, psychedelia all the time. Admittedly they pepper it (pepper! ha ha!) with period commercials and newscasts, and the playlist is about 20% sunny, undruggy pop but for the most part it’s a real trip, man. It’s the obscurities that all the cool kids listened to in college, before they went on to run America into the ground.
Those kids would have hated, hated the fare on Luxuria Music. Though the playlist is a bit more adventurous the meat and potatoes of these guys is easy listening/lounge music. Got a hankering for Enoch Light? Martin Denny? 101 Strings? Pour yourself a highball and come on in! Ever since SWINGERS came out I’ve been enamored of easy listening music. It’s top musicians working at the the peak of their powers to produce a dubious result, which is fascinating.
And the Luxuria people know that people like me don’t have the patience to take this stuff straight, which is why they find as many examples as they can of the aesthetic pushed too far. Last night I heard the theme to Bonanza, sung in German. In fact there is a whole three hour show on Mondays devoted to kitsch. Luxuria branches out a lot more, occasionally playing trance music and disco and garage rock. The week Michael Jackson died there were equal parts tribute shows to Jacko and Sky Saxon, lead singer of The Seeds.
If you wonder why the music business and commercial radio is on the way out, it’s because a guy like me can get everything he wants from these stations. And most of the artists they play are dead and don’t need royalties.
(h/t to April Winchell for Bonanza. I knew you wouldn’t believe it unless you heard it yourself)
