Saturday, August 25, 2012

I Apologize For My Tweet

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Quote of the Day: Even WE'RE Amazed This Isn't Worse Edition

"The fact that Claire McCaskill is only polling at 48% after 72 hours of constant negative attacks on Todd Akin shows just how weak she is. If she can’t break fifty percent after a week like this, Democrats should ask Claire to step down."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Hypothetical Question For Conservatives: Forcible Rape Edition

All right, I know you won't answer me but you might find this useful to help place yourself. And I apologize for the very unpleasant premise that this question is based on.

Say your wife is raped, and nine months later she gives birth to a child. Obviously abortion is off the table in this scenario. So do you raise the child as your own? Or do you divorce your wife, knowing that she cannot have conceived if she had been forcibly raped?

Monday, August 20, 2012

Quote of the Day: Patter Between Songs Edition

“We’ve got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the US and we hate him!”
Hank "Pussy Riot" Williams Jr. 

Wait a minute. Hates farming?

Buy the Premise, Buy the Gag

You know what's wrong with me? (I mean aside from dressing badly, of course) I just spent a considerable amount of my work morning hectoring poor WAMK for retweeting this.

My first assumption was that the gag is that Obama fellah is lazy, just like all...Democrats. But after an awful lot of back 'n' forth, I think we've concluded that it's funny because that Obama fellah isn't a religious guy, that he PRETENDS to be religious only when he's campaigning.

I think that's great because it means that Emily Miller (and WAMK) never believed the "Secret Muslim" thing, or the nonsense about Rev. Wright. Obama wasn't influenced by those guys! He just wanted to play golf! People who buy that stuff are idiots!

Probably WAMK will take offense to that interpretation but he has been pretty close to the vest with why he thinks the line IS funny. "It's funny because it just IS," he almost said, though he hasn't quite even gone that far. Without some underlying premise, it's not a very funny line. I'm open to some sensible explaination of what the premise is. Do you think the tweet is funny? Why?

Friday, August 17, 2012

Quote of the Day - Lassais-Unfair Edition

If you bail out a company that's engaged in bad business practices, rather than forcing it to fix those bad business practices . . . you don't think they could end up in trouble again, do you?
- Herman Cain, arguing on Facebook that what went wrong with GM was that the government didn't step in and tell a major American corporation how to do business.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Paul "Porkulous" Ryan

WASHINGTON _ After seeking millions of dollars from a federal stimulus program he opposed, Republican vice presidential candidate Rep. Paul Ryan repeatedly denied lobbying the Obama administration for home state aid -- first on a Boston radio station in 2010 and then again on Tuesday in an interview with a Ohio television station. 
On October 28, 2010, after the Wisconsin Republican penned at least five letters to two federal departments seeking grants under the Obama administration’s economic recovery package, Ryan responded to a caller on WBZ’s Nightside with Dan Rea who asked if he sought any of the money. 
Ryan said that he would not vote against something “then write to the government to ask them to send us money.” 
“I did not request any stimulus money,” he continued. 
Meanwhile, in an interview yesterday with an Ohio television station, Ryan repeated the denial, before quickly adding “I don’t recall.”
Liberals are too worried about this guy - he's no more likely to changes the system than any other guy in Washington.
Thursday evening, Ryan acknowledged having sent the letters above his signature. “After having these letters called to my attention I checked into them, and they were treated as constituent service requests in the same way matters involving Social Security or Veterans Affairs are handled. This is why I didn’t recall the letters earlier. But they should have been handled differently, and I take responsibility for that.”
Of course, the Koch brothers have his ear so we're still better off with the guys who are in the White House now. Let's stick with 'em.

Miss Me Yet Yet?

Hey, look what just turned up via the Tea Party on Facebook!

When I left office, unemployment was 4.7%, gas cost $2.26 a gallon and 17 million Americans were on food stamps. Almost 4 years later under Obama, unemployment is at a record 8.3%, gas costs $4.00 a gallon and 43 million Americans are on food stamps. Click "LIKE" and "SHARE" if you miss me yet?

This is what fascinates me about the Right. First of all how can the Tea Party have their own page? They're not a party, they're a movement. Second, I'm certain the phrase "when I left office" refers to January 20th, 2009. Unemployment was 7.8 and climbing to 8.3. Gas was even lower than it says, at $1.84. Probably because people were taking their money out of oil stocks. And that month, 32 million Americans were on food stamps. So I think what they're getting at is Bush retroactively left office in August 2008. 

And yet, when I point this out to anyone on the right they're going to insult me, insist I need to learn to read, and intimate that I'm a Muslim.

I'll admit I do miss him. Why, oh why, isn't he going to be speaking at the RNC convention? And Palin too! I miss them both! 

Quote of the Day - MegaTreason Edition

Back in my country, my president is trying to pass a gun ban, so he’s staging all of these murders. Like the Fast And Furious thing down at the border and Aurora, Colorado, all the people that were killed there and now the beautiful people at the Sikh temple. I don’t know where I’m gonna live if America keeps going the way it’s going because it looks like it’s turning into Nazi America.
-Dave Mustaine, speaking ON FOREIGN SOIL. And you know what? The lamestream media hasn't even reported about NoObAma staging these murders, which is PROOF that they're BIASed!

Monday, August 13, 2012

All's Well That Ends Well

Why does the left hate Freedom of Speech so much? Here we have an older gentlemen attempting to stop Paul Ryan from having his say. Fortunately, he is taken out of the room and wrestled to the ground! Teach him to stop someone from expressing an opinion!

There's An App For That, And It Sucks

It's a little late to download Mitt Romney's VP App, which promised to let users be the first to know who he picked to be his running mate. Turns out it's Paul Ryan! The app faithfully delivered the news at 7:07am Saturday which is pretty early, except in the context of all the major news outlets who got the leaked news 7 hours earlier and tweeted it. And probably in the context of Romney's tweet about the same news, which beat the app by a few minutes.

Oh and Facebook.

Don't worry though, the app is going to upgraded and rereleased to retroactively inform you first. It will beat the leaks by two days.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Thank Jesus We Can Protect Ourselves Here!

If you've ever been in a white-knuckle terror trap, surrounded by thugs and bullies, you probably had the comfort of knowing that if you had to, you could shoot your way out. But take a look at this horrifying letter from an ex-Michigan policeman to the Calgary Herald!

Recently, while out for a walk in Nose Hill Park, in broad daylight on a paved trail, two young men approached my wife and me. The men stepped in front of us, then said in a very aggressive tone: "Been to the Stampede yet?"

We ignored them. The two moved closer, repeating: "Hey, you been to the Stampede yet?"

I quickly moved between these two and my wife, replying, "Gentle-men, I have no need to talk with you, goodbye." They looked bewildered, and we then walked past them.

I speculate they did not have good intentions when they approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ they did not pull a weapon of some sort, but rather concluded it was in their best interest to leave us alone.

Would we not expect a uniformed officer to pull his or her weapon to intercede in a life-or-death encounter to protect self, or another? Why then should the expectation be lower for a citizen of Canada or a visitor? Wait, I know - it's because in Canada, only the criminals and the police carry handguns.

Walt Wawra, Kalamazoo, Mich.

Mr and Mrs Wawra are currently undergoing therapy for post-traumatic stress after their life-or-death encounter. The sad thing is, this tragedy might have been avoided if only Walt been allowed to carry, and discharge, his weapon into these assailants.

Canadians are known for their bloodthirsty and lawless ways, and my advice to the Wawras is to never go ther again in the future. Between thir savagery and their socialist, inferior health care system, it's just too dangerous.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012


Republicans are OUTRAGED at this cruel, untrue attack on the sterling character of Mitt Romney, who actually gave this man a six figure job and lowered his taxes.

It's just plain wrong for Obama to make false claims against Romney, especially considering that he isn't even an American Citizen, is a Muslim, never had a private sector job and is conspiring with the UN to take away your right to play golf.  Don't let him get away with it!

By the way, a special quote of the day extra courtesy Romney spokesman Andrea Saul:

" know, if people had been in Massachusetts under Governor Romney’s health care plan, they would have had health care. There are a lot of people losing their jobs and their health care in President Obama’s economy."

Right, Romney's spokesperson is a SOCIALIST!

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Love Is Just Around The Corner/How Much Is That Doggie In the Window

Did you know that Hollywood has been slowly brainwashing you so you will have sex with animals? Bet you didn't see that endgame coming! But John Nolte does!

And if you don't think that there are those who hold the levers of power in our popular culture that would like to remove the stigma from bestiality, you don't understand the depths of sexual depravity the human animal is capable of.

I used to laugh at loud at the term "slippery slope." 
Then I grew up.
I recently became friends with a guy whose grandfather trained Lassie, and I'm dying to ask him about the role he has played in all this. Did they make Lassie sway her hips a little when she ran to rescue Timmy from the well? Was Gentle Ben maybe a little gentler than he needed to be? Did Flipper rub up against... actually we all know about dolphins.

It's interesting that I have never felt particularly attracted to pets, and yet a lot of conservatives seem to think that screwing the family cat always just a law or two away. They stay up nights worried that one day, unless society stops them, they're going to rudely surprise Rex because they just can't help themselves.  I suppose it's the same problem as alcoholics having to leave the room when you're taking a drink. I suppose ultimately the safest thing is to just convince a state in the midwest to outlaw pets.  

Might as well make it Texas, so most of them won't have to move.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

I'm Pretty Sure This Is Illegal In Florida

Walton Henry Butler, 59, was arrested by Gulf County Sheriff’s deputies on Monday night for shooting 32-year-old Everett Gant, who is black, in the head with a .22 caliber rifle.
According to a charging affidavit obtained by The Star, Butler had referred to Pamela Rogers’ child and other children at his apartment complex with racial slurs.
Gant was shot between the eyes when he went to Butler’s apartment to confront him over the remarks, the documents said. Butler allegedly closed his sliding glass door and left Gant bleeding on ground outside.
The suspect contacted 911 and had finished his dinner before Gulf County Sheriff Joe Nugent arrived. 
Nugent recalled that Butler appeared “inconvenienced” by the arrest, saying that “he had only shot a n*gger.”
Gant is expected to survive, so he can look forward to seeing the following opinions expressed by crazies in certain comment sections, and a handful of elected officials.

1. Why is this a "hate crime?" It's enough of a crime to shoot someone in the face, right? We need to stop demonizing hate.

2. Now isn't the time to discuss gun control.

3. The press is playing the race card by reporting the story this way.

4. Butler voted for Obama, and is a liberal. Because THAT'S WHAT LIBERALS ARE LIKE.

The talking point I don't expect to see (curiously) is the one where this whole incident could have been avoided if African Americans in Florida were all armed. Trevon Martin would be alive! Gant would have been safe!