Saturday, May 25, 2013

Greetings From Fresno

Traveling is not really about seeing places. It's about surrounding yourself with new people. I bring this up to explain why I'm in Fresno, I town a find largely disagreeable. Normally you'll only get me to stop here because I'm driving to Santa Cruz or Sacramento, and Fresno is closest when I realize that I'm hungry. It's not that bad I guess, for a city whose economy is based on hookers and raisin cultivation.

But as I said, I'm here anyway. My girlfriend is a competitive West Coast Swing dancer. Actually I should be more specific; she competes in the West Coast Swing, Waltz, Nightclub and Cha-Cha categories. What does this mean to outsiders like me? Nothing. But I'll tell you what it does mean - the Fresno Radisson is crawlin' with dance obsessives. Strangely,  they're not any more attractive than a typical bunch of hotel guests. There are plenty of old, fat people. But they're really active for old fat people. They're optimized.

Since I don't dance, I don't belong here. So it's a little awkward around happy hour, when everybody wonders why they haven't seen me in the ballroom with a number pinned to the small of my back or they think they did see me but they can't quite remember when. But once we get past the realization that there is a normal in their midst, we all have a hearty laugh and enjoy a bowl of chex mix.

And it's a good thing we all get along because I'm increasingly realizing that this Radisson is an oasis in the middle of a hellish desert of Fresnoness. It's either this lobby or nothin' for the whole weekend.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

What Did They Know, And When Did They Know It

It's not the crime, it's the cover-up.

So these people in the government knew about the investigation A YEAR AGO! And they kept it to themselves, probably because they didn't want to ruin Obummer's chances of being re-elected!


Tuesday, May 21, 2013


(This is beside the subject but people affected by tornadoes - my heart goes out to you. People unaffected, send food, blankets and money now.)

I don't make an awful lot of money compared to most. I'm self-sufficient but I'm not rolling in cash, God knows. So you may be surprised that I have the latest iMac, the latest iPhone and a 2nd Generation iPad. The 2nd generation is said to get better battery life and doesn't heat up to egg-frying levels. I bought all this stuff new, and I paid full sales tax, state and local, on every one of them.

Distressingly, Apple itself wasn't quite so ingenuous. Tim Cook testified in the Senate about the taxes his company hasn't paid.

"We pay all the taxes we owe — every single dollar," Cook told the Senate's Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations.

"We not only comply with the laws but we comply with the spirit of the laws," he said. "We don't depend on tax gimmicks."

Cook said the tax code "has not kept up with the digital age" and restricts the free movement of capital in comparison to the codes of other countries. He called for a "dramatic simplification of the corporate tax code," including lower tax rates and a "reasonable tax on foreign earnings."

Rand Paul, quoted later in the same piece:

"Frankly, I’m offended by the tone and tenor of this hearing," Paul said, calling the session a "show trial." He noted that Corning makes the Gorilla Glass for Apple products in Kentucky.
"I’m offended by a $4-trillion government bullying, berating and badgering one of America’s greatest success stories," he said. "Tell me what Apple’s done that is illegal."
Congress should apologize for creating a "bizarre and byzantine tax code" and should compliment Apple for its job creation, he said.
"They’re doing what their shareholders ask, which is to maximize profit," Paul said.
"A show trial?" Does Rand Paul understand how Senate hearings work?  They're show trials by definition, babe.
The thing is,  it's great that Apple is doing so well and that they employ so many people. But their success could be doing you and me a lot more good than it is. They're so well-known for employing Chinese labor to assemble their beautiful iPads, and as far as I can see their American employment is limited to Apple Store employees (minimum wage) code-monkeys and very very VERY well-compensated executives. Who can also dodge taxes legally.
Will the Left show as much "outrage" against Big Apple as it does against Big Oil?

And I admit that I'm writing this partially in response. My response to both is the same - no protests, but I'd like to see both paying more taxes because the United States needs the money. Howzabout we simplify the tax code so this kind of dodging is not legal? Congress could work on that, THEN repeal Obamacare. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

"Ah Wish Ah Cu'd Quit Yew"

The duck in the previous post and I feel the same way: I'm gonna miss these guys. Pro tip, start reading around comment 9 and remember that I'm "DaFonz" a nickname given to me by WAMK, because my twitter avatar is a thumbs up. As you can see, the exchange goes from mildly sarcastic to awfully ugly. Since I lack perspective, I invite you guys to advise me to whether I gave as good as I got.

I'm kind of at a loose end now because, where am I going to go for my shrill, ill-sourced arguments? I refuse to get married again just for THAT.  Still, when one door closes another one opens - maybe this is my chance to move on to the big leagues, and troll Glenn Beck for a while.

While I'm at it, I miss Warner Todd Huston as well. But these guys and I have breaking points: mine is childish insults, and theirs is people who question their beliefs. I shrug, I move on. I wish I could say I gave up Where Are My Keys completely, but if history is any indication I'll be back because we all was made for each other.

Oblahblah's Goose Is Cooked!

I'll miss you guys!
All these scandals with the administration this week!

Well, he'll surely be found out for the Marxist muslim that he is and promptly impeached. Republicans will hold hearings, and they will prove he is at the top of it, just like they did with Fast and Furious and Benghazi.  And they way they did before with Whitewater, and Vince Foster's murder at the hands of Hillary Clinton.

You can say these hearings are fruitless and a waste of taxpayer money but without them how would we have proven that Obummer isn't even an American citizen? When will the totally biased MSM come around to giving this stuff the attention it deserves? They're not even REPORTING the very real danger posed by Agenda 21 and Sharia Law!

The whole media, and the majority of Americans, is ANTI-AMERICAN!

(Not to put too fine a point on it, I'm thinking the IRS scandal will go nowhere along with the Benghazi scandal and the other scandals, perhaps because no one can even name the illegal thing that they THINK was done. But in case I'm wrong, take the above for what I really think.)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

This can't end well for me or the other side, but I'm callin' hypocrisy.

In a March 22, 2007 Time Magazine piece co-bylined with Massimo Calabresi, then-Washington Bureau Chief Jay Carney attacked the Bush administration for “its deliberate and aggressive efforts to expand and protect Executive power.” 
In the piece, Carney and Calabresi charged that “[President George W.] Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have spent six years expanding presidential powers at the expense of Congress and the judiciary, from authorizing domestic wiretapping to limiting habeas corpus and changing bills through signing statements.” 
Carney also complained about the resistance from Bush administration officials to testify on those matters, which at the time included then-White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove. 
Thanks for that, Daily Caller! What was your opinion about big intrusive government at the time? Fir or agin'?

I can't vouch for the DC folks, but I did get this fundraising letter back in 2007 that might be illustrative. Among other things, it addressed the PATRIOT Act: If Democrats try to gut the USA Patriot Act and other important laws that promote the safety and security of all Americans, should Republicans in Congress fight back? The PATRIOT Act, you see, is the thing that authorizes all this expansion of executive power. Nearly everybody in Congress voted for it, to their discredit. I worried about it then and I worry about it now. But for the moment it's the ill-defined law of the land, which is why any attempt to impeach Obama over it are doomed to failure.

And sure I'd rather Obama ran the country without dipping into that cesspool of executive privilege, but so far no President has been able to resist it's oh-so-convenient charms. If Congress is going to spend all it's time trying to repeal laws it voted for, why not start with that one?

Monday, May 13, 2013

Finally the Benghazi Scandal Explained

These terrorists got in, but they didn’t say they were terrorists until AFTER, and they said it was because of a video but it turns out it wasn’t, and someone said Obama had a drone in the air that could EASILY have taken out the insurgents, but he watched them die, and someone said SOMEONE called off the reinforcements, and why was the guard there so light? There had been memos about the security. MEMOS!

Friday, May 10, 2013

God Damns America! Says Michele Bachmann

Up until now we've been blaming terrorists and Obama for these things, but it's time we acknowledge the truth: God is not on our side.God hates us and has no problem smiting us down. He's just firing warning shots first to see if we'll try to butter him up.

On Second Thought, Let's Stay Home And Netflix Something

Did you know I used to run movie theaters? Yep, sure did. Periodically we would be called upon (forced) to  devise a fun stunt to draw the people in. For example, I once enlisted the services of a caricaturist for the release of Pinocchio, to draw people with elongated noses. Going to the movies is fun! 

Of course, there is a downside to leaving this kind of stunt in the hands of amateurs.
During the opening weekend of the latest 'Iron Man' movie, a man walked into the theater in full tactical gear and carrying a fake gun.
Jefferson City police and witnesses, however, are not pleased with the stunt and are questioning the theater's logic after recent shootings in Aurora, Colo. and Newtown, Conn.
John Molock is a retired Army war veteran and suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He told ABC 17 News this most recent trip to the movies triggered memories he never wanted to relive.
"We had just finished watching Iron Man 3," said Morlock. "We're just getting into the car when I spotted a man in full assault gear, carrying what appeared to be a modified M-4 and 9 mm on his side."
Morlock did not call police, but several other moviegoers did.
"We received a series of 911 calls stating that a man dressed in all black and body armor and a rifle was walking into Capital 8 Theaters," said Capt. Doug Shoemaker.
Officers thought they were responding to an active shooter investigation.
"Everything was in place, it's the opening night of a superhero movie, it's somebody walking in all-dark clothes, everything pointed to bad things about to happen," said Shoemaker. "There's really no good that can come of this."
Plus, it really killed the idea of bring-your-parents-assault-rifle day at the local grade school.

What I'm wondering is, Missouri allows weapons in public places. Where are all the heroes, the good guys with guns, when this guy is walking through the lobby? I'm glad no one was shot, but why didn't someone draw and demand this guy stand down?

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Pry THIS Outta My Cold, Dead Hands

Whoever Kills Someone First, Loses

Coming to Washington this July 4th: Buncha guys showing off their guns! They're here, they're armed, get used to it!

Loaded weapons being transported across state lines into the city by unlicensed out-of-state residents would likely be treated as a highly provocative and illegal act by police.
"If they do, then we'll either peacefully submit to arrest in order to make a court case out of it or we'll turn back," said Adam Kokesh, a libertarian activist and former candidate for Congress in New Mexico, in an interview with BuzzFeed on Monday. "We're not going to resist government by force in any way."
"It's all going to be very well choreographed," Kokesh said.
If the court case goes through, it's likely that prosecution will bring up Kokesh's radio show when he mused about the pros and cons of assassinating Mitt Romney last year. (Remember, that kind of talk doesn't help, as I've learned) It's against the law to carry weapons on the streets of DC, so if there are no arrests, it will be  because you can't arrest 'em all. 

It's hard not to be fascinated by the following:
Though Kokesh feels "that I'm going to be a lot safer at this event than I would be on the streets of Chicago," he can't fully guarantee that no one in the group will do anything dangerous.
"No, but that's never true, and that's one of the realities in our daily lives," he said. "We largely do trust the people around us to not kill us. Human life is really fragile."
The march's Facebook page promises "coordination with D.C. law enforcement prior to the event," and invites "law enforcement officers to stand with us armed however they feel is appropriate."
If you trust the people around you to not kill you, you don't need a gun. I've managed for years without one, and so far, ain't no one killed me. Also I would hope that the police would not stand with the protesters, because it's their job not to.

I'm comforted by the date of the event, because it guarantees that no rich target politicians will be in town. Good luck to everybody, I guess. Can't quite figure out the message of this gesture, but here's hoping it's made without any bloodshed.

Friday, May 03, 2013

This Is How Terrorism Works

I have a sweet commute. I'm literally less than a mile and half from my job. Some mornings I ride a bike to work (12 minutes) once in a while I can even walk (half an hour); this morning I got out of the house a little late and I decided to drive (5 minutes) and grab a walk around lunch time.

But the traffic was awful. My usual westbound route was too crowded so I drove the other way, hoping to bypass all that mess. I went a couple of blocks east, then a block north, only to discover a complete standstill on the road leading to my work cul-de-sac. What's worse, there were a lot of people on foot. Now there are some serious wildfires about 15 miles west of here, so my assumption was something was burning. 

Since I wasn't moving anyway, I opened the window and asked one of the pedestrians what was going on. "Bombs!" he said. "Road's closed!" I resolved to inch forward to the next turnoff and go home. 

Now this is the interesting part.

You may recall a few weeks back I wrote an extraordinarily stupid tweet. And in response, my favorite nemesis WAMK published my name and work address. So I admit that my first thought when I heard "bomb" was to consider whether I'd brought this on the whole industrial park, and if it would be better if I just kept my mouth shut before someone gets hurt. As it turns out, the bombs (or empty pipes, no details yet) were located really far from my office and it's safe to say that it had nothing to do with me.

Still, when you boil down terrorism, it's about threatening violence so someone who is saying something you don't like will shut up.(If someone goes through with the violence it makes the papers, which means the terrorists have an ally). Threatening is  what I was doing with my tweet, and it's what WAMK did by publishing my work address. And thankfully, no one is going to shut up any time soon. So this time, the terrorists lose. But I gotta tell you, I'm really regretting that tweet right now. Free speech is best left in the hands of adults.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

And You May Ask Yourself, How Did I Get Here?

Here's the kind of free time I got at work today: I just browsed my blog stats here to see what the top Google searches that led to this place were. The results may surprise you!

iconic objects
"agcode is on" "smilies are on"
paul snover
keeping it real blog
anti-cair keeping it real, yo
david steinberg finger
iconic object
david steinberg pinky

I'm going to start by saying I have ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION of any writing about any of David Steinberg's digits. Still, I must have. I can explain "iconic object" as relating to this entry, the most popular of them all. It even beats my frequent postings about the Ugly Dog Contest.

Paul Snover? This guy. The agcode thing links to the only time I ever wrote the word agcode, back in 2006 when I did a post just like this. The fact that it's generating traffic is like going back in time and killing your own grandfather.

The one that really puzzles me is the URL. I searched for it and nothing came up. And who would search using a URL anyway? Inviting speculation here.

Great Moments In Outrage, Edition Zero-Two

John Nolte (the Nolte NOT famous for gruffness and drinking) of Breitbart is outraged! OUTRAGED!
Twitchy reports that on Tuesday night, the left launched a Twitter game with the hashtag #SarahPalinFilms. Via a verified account, this was Netflix's voluntary contribution: 
#SarahPalinFilms "Iron Sky"…— Netflix US (@netflix) May 1, 2013 
One review of "Iron Sky" describes the film this way: 
The film tries to make the connection between the Nazis and the current state of American politics via a US President character that embodies the Sarah Palin brand of politics, but it’s done in bad taste and this is where the satire fails. 
To say this was a public relations error by Netflix is an understatement. The Internet will not only ensure that Netflix's shockingly tone-deaf tweet spreads like wildfire, but this is the kind of divisive behavior that can blemish a company forever. 
Had Netflix contributed to an #ObamaFilm hashtag game with the exact same title… Well, we all know Netflix would never do that. The mainstream media would pummel them into dust.
 Johnny (can I call you Johnny? No? Okay.) let me ask you a couple of things.

Where did that "one review" come from?

Why would Netflix use #obamafilm as a hashtag for Iron Sky, where the president is depicted as a bespectacled conservative woman?

Why does calling a movie #SarahPalinFilms where a Sarah Palin character is in the film such an offensive thing?

What the hell possessed Michelle Malkin to name her website "Twitchy?" It's off the subject but I figured you guys talk once in a while.

Quick Update: I noticed that the film is also streaming on Xbox AND iTunes, which means if you're furious enough to cancel your Netflix subscription, you better also switch over to Linux.