Friday, September 28, 2012

Quote Of the Day: Attention Chick Voters Edition

"I think we have a very clear path to victory, and apparently Claire McCaskill thinks we do, too, because she was very aggressive at the debate, which was quite different than it was when she ran against Jim Talent. She had a confidence and was much more ladylike (in 2006), but in the debate on Friday she came out swinging, and I think that's because she feels threatened."
 - Rep. Todd ("Legitimate Rape") Akin, getting on the good side of female voters by reminding them to know their place and always be ladylike

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The GOP HATES Free Speech!

The Virginia Republican party is violating the Right of Free Speech and CENSORING the Republicans of Mecklenberg County.

RICHMOND — Virginia Republican Party officials on Tuesday ordered their Mecklenburg County affiliate to remove photos portraying President Obama as a witch doctor, a caveman and a thug from its Facebook page.

The altered photos have been on the Mecklenburg County Republican Committee’s page for months but drew attention outside the rural southwestern enclave after a luncheon event this week with Republican Senate candidate George Allen.

“These kinds of images have no place in political discourse — period,” said Pat Mullins, chairman of the Republican Party of Virginia. “They are offensive, tasteless and should never have been posted anywhere, let alone a local unit’s Facebook page. The Republican Party of Virginia condemns this sort of imagery in the strongest possible terms. I am in the process of contacting our Mecklenburg County unit to inform them that this is unacceptable behavior from any local unit associated with our party.”
Why? Why do they call things like the pictures below unacceptable? BECAUSE THEY HATE FREEDOM.

To make matters worse, it's just the common people who are posting these pictures to Facebook, not the Mecklenburg County Party. THE VIRGINIA REPUBLICANS are trying to supress the American People! Maybe they're Muslims! I'm not saying they are, I'm not saying they aren't. I'm just saying.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Building A Mittstery

Hat tip to Sarah McLaughlin for the title; in other words, the gag only works if I explain it. And actually, still not.

A lot of people have called Mitt Romney inconsistent in his views, but that's because they simply aren't paying attention. Well I am. And here is a great example! In 2007 Mitt Romney was talking to Glenn Beck about health care and he said "When they show up at the hospital, they get care. They get free care paid for by you and me. If that’s not a form of socialism, I don’t know what is."

Wouldn't make a thing like that up! So you might think from that statement that Romney is against the emergency room system in this country. But au contraire, mon frere! Here he again, last night on 60 Minutes.
"Well, we do provide care for people who don't have insurance...If someone has a heart attack, they don't sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care. And different states have different ways of providing for that care."
Has Romney changed his mind about emergency rooms? No! What we can conclude is he is a socialiast. It seems a little odd probably that a socialist ran Bain Capital but it's not like he was a communist. He was merely exercising the model of consolidating small companies so they could be run by a large central authority.

This weekend Sarah Palin (the other great Sarah of the North) suggested it's time for Mitt and Paul Ryan to go rogue. I think she's onto him too and wants to encourage him and his French socialist views. Vive le Mitt! 

Friday, September 21, 2012

Ann Romney Tells Mitt To STOP IT.

July 29, JERUSALEM (AP) — Mitt Romney says that if he paid more taxes than were required, he wouldn't be qualified to be president.

Romney just released his 2011 taxes today! Per a statement from Romney's campaign:

Regarding the newly-filed 2011 Tax Return:

In 2011, the Romneys paid $1,935,708 in taxes on $13,696,951 in mostly investment income. 
The Romneys’ effective tax rate for 2011 was 14.1%. 
The Romneys donated $4,020,772 to charity in 2011, amounting to nearly 30% of their income.
The Romneys claimed a deduction for $2.25 million of those charitable contributions. 
The Romneys’ generous charitable donations in 2011 would have significantly reduced their tax obligation for the year. The Romneys thus limited their deduction of charitable contributions to conform to the Governor's statement in August, based upon the January estimate of income, that he paid at least 13% in income taxes in each of the last 10 years.
Virtual highlighter mine.

Let's face it, when you yourself are sniping in public at your bid for the presidency, maybe it's time to just endorse Obama. Republicans hate Romney so much now, it would probably help.

Don't Mention It

How do you run for office in the state that Mitt Romney governed? For God's sake, avoid reminding people about him.


As a matter of fact, maybe this would work on the national level!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Don't Be Alarmed!

He is only this dark when he appears on Univision.

Stupid Liberal Me

Here's what I learned on Facebook yesterday. This graphic:

Does not in any way imply that Obama is responsible for the rise in gas prices. I asked some people what it does mean and I got this response:

I simply don't have the patience today to entertain dumb questions from liberals, sorry. I'll answer your question w/ one simple cartoon:

So I owe the right wing an apology! It's all so simple and I couldn't even see it! The only thing I'm wondering is ... that pipe isn't actually kinked in any way. I mean, oil could still flow through it. So, the cartoon is saying, what, that jobs must pass through politics before we achieve energy independence?

Also, I'd take a closer look that the Keystone doohicky on the left up there. The seal's busted.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Rubber 'n' Glue Department

Oh yeah? I'll tell you who doesn't pay taxes! ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO VOTE FOR OBAMA! 

If you voted for Obama in 2008 and have paid any taxes since, perhaps you want to drop a note to Romney. Or the RNC. Or anybody who runs a talk show on radio.


On the Rodeo, Whoa-oh-oh-oh

I want to disabuse my liberal friends of the wrong conclusions they might reach following this incident.

An announcer at the Creston Classic Rodeo offended some in the audience Saturday when he made a racist joke about first lady Michelle Obama over the PA system. Now, at least one rodeo board member is demanding an apology.

“I was really appalled and the people around me were really appalled,” said spectator Dona Wilson of Santa Margarita. “He was acting like we were buying into his bigotry and we weren’t.”

Wilson said she heard a lady beside her say: “ ‘Whoa! Racist or what?’ ”

According to Wilson, the joke as told by the announcer, went something like this: Playboy is offering Ann Romney $250,000 to pose in the magazine and the White House is upset about it because National Geographic only offered Michelle Obama $50 to pose for them.
It turns out the joke wasn't told by the announcer but by a rodeo clown, who was on a mic at the same time.

So look, it is a mistake to assume that all Republicans are as racist as Mike Hayhurst, the aforementioned rodeo clown. If we can assume that many of the audience was Republican, the fact that Heyhurst bombed with the joke indicates most people aren't in on it, and that would include the Republicans.

The other thing you don't want to assume from this article is that most Republicans are rodeo clowns. It's an easier mistake to make because their last President was one.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Can You Spot The Error?

Fox and Friends, yesterday morning.

Fox and Friends, this morning.

Can you spot the error?

The error is Fox and Friends ISSUED A RETRACTION! What's wrong with those guys? Usually they know that unemployment figures, like the definition of "socialism", is entirely a matter of opinion! They need to retract the retraction, and grill an empty chair about those terrible numbers!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I Bet There Was A Lively Secret Service Discussion Too

I'm a little confused - isn't the pizza industry going to have to raise prices if president Obama is reelected? Maybe that's small businesses like Papa John's or Godfather's.

If you're not seeing an embedded video up there (like me) then try this.

Friday, September 07, 2012

He Doesn't HATE The Troops, He Just Doesn't Care About Them

It's been AGES since Mitt committed a horrible gaffe, hasn't it? Looks like fall is going to be fun after all!


 Still Republicans will point out that it's just unfair to criticize a party for leaving something out of the conventions, so the matter should just be settled ok?

And He's One Of The Moderate Ones

Student Loans, another thing that will lead to a holocaust unless they are stopped at once. It seems like an overreach to me. In fact, since there is nothing in the Constitution about student loans leading to a holocaust, suggesting they might is clearly unconstitutional.  Communist!

Thursday, September 06, 2012

M*** R*****

I think I'm getting it now - the GOP position since 2008 is this. Don't vote for the guy you like, vote for the guy that I despise slightly less than the other guy, who is the guy you like. If you vote for anyone but the guy I really, really despise, (but not as much as the other guy) then you're on the side of the terrorists. I strongly stand behind this guy whom I bitterly disagree with.

In a less weird political climate, they would shrug if you don't vote for a guy they hate, but now they hate you for not hating their hated politician less.

Just kidding! Here's Reince Preibus strongly recommending his nominee for President!

Unlike Dems, the GOP is proud of our VP nominee. @PaulRyanVP gave an amazing speech and in prime time !
9/6/12 10:19 AM

Democrats would never allow speeches in prime time!

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

You May Find This Useful, Though

Conventional Wis -- Aw, To Hell With It

Well, you're probably very frustrated with me by now - I have been laying off politics AND everything else since the conventions started. It's partially because I'm not watching the conventions. They're infomercials. Everything I don't like about 30-second campaign ads is what the conventions are made of. They contain neither substance nor honesty. And they go on forever. At best they're a showcase for the next round of candidates in 2016 but dear God, why would I want to see more candidates after this year?

So rather than watch the conventions I'm taking them in through twitter mockery. It's simply more efficient. I used to get my movies this way, from reading Mad magazine parodies.

The other reason that I'm backing off politics so much is it's fruitless to try to change your mind. You, the reader. You've made up your mind and you won't be swayed. Even if I tell you that the idea you hate used to be your own idea; even if I point to the graphs you published that contradict what you're saying. So why bother? Wouldn't we all be happier if I we believed what we believe and never mention it to each other? Sure we would. And sooner or later this is how the nation will trend.  We'll go back to never discussing religion or politics, because we need to get along with each other.

So, I spent the weekend in San Jose! Went to the Computer History Museum (right across the street from Google HQ and just 15 minutes from the hotel) and watched my girlfriend compete in West Coast Swing dancing. Also visited my mom, recuperating from a pacemaker operation. How about you? Do anything fun for Labor Day?