Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Watch That Pause

Rick Perry, inverviewed by Neil Cavuto:

ThinkProgress characterizes it as Perry refusing to answer. I say it's the pause of a guy who isn't sure what he just said and needs to process it because he doesn't want to consider the possibility that he IS one of those Occupy Wall Street Guys.

Anyway this is a sign that the Tea Party has decided Rick Perry is no longer their BFF and in fact, their best chance to win the presidency is whatever black man they have available, no matter how ill-informed or nutty. It's a good strategy: the American people seem to like black people nowadays, and it worked so well with Michael Steele.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Don't Listen To This Guy!

He's probably a muslim extremist.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Unemployment - Embrace It!

Look, what are you 99 percenters upset about? If you don't have jobs its your own fault! If more of you are unemployed then in 2007, it's because more of you are lazy bastards who don't want a job.

Still that doesn't mean the Republicans aren't in there doing what they can to get you more jobs. For one thing, they're refusing to allow a vote on Obama's Jobs Bill. For another, Tea Party Nation is demanding that small businesses stop hiring people. WHERE ARE THE JOBS, MR PRESIDENT?

I, an American small business owner, part of the class that produces the vast majority of real, wealth producing jobs in this country, hereby resolve that I will not hire a single person until this war against business and my country is stopped.
Also until Sharia law is banned, I resolve to blow up all public buildings! And until my wife apologizes for accusing me of kissing other women, I will sleep with other women!

It seems a little over the line but you know what? Sometimes you have to take extreme measures to keep people from wrecking the economy.

(Side note: check out the quote at the begininning of the manifesto - from the movie of Atlas Shrugged. Does no one say it in the novel? Like the guy who wrote the Call For a Strike, I've never read it either.)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

A Startling Glimpse Into The Afterlife

It's curious that they thought Quadaffi would hold onto his looks like that but hey, details.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Future of the GOP

Who's going to win the Republican primary? I don't know exactly, but this is what it's going to be like

The majority of people who vote for that candidate will hate them and wish one of the others had won. Even if they despise the winner, they will vote for them, because they'd rather have someone they despise and disagree with in every way than Barack Obama.

Oh and Herman Cain will drop out of the race for reasons that no one will quite be able to explain.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Obama Should Be Very, Very Frightened

Well, the primaries are coming up and more and more it's looking like your choice is as follows:

A cult member who champions abortion and authored an even more socialist version of Obamacare.

A man who wants to eliminate your tax deductions and raise your personal tax bill to 18%, (and corporations to 9%) plus is in favor of spending your taxes on bailing out banks.

A guy from Texas who strongly reminds you of... uh... I just can't remember. He was president some time in the recent past. Never forget!

A guy with fake eyebrows.

Oh, and Newt Gingrich. He's looking good!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

There IS A Republican Jobs Bill!

President Obama's comprehensive jobs bill was killed yesterday in the Senate. WHERE ARE THE JOBS, OBUMMER? Or as Mitch McConnell more subtly said, "Democrats' sole proposal is to keep doing what hasn't worked, along with a massive tax hike that we know won't create jobs. Why on earth would you support an approach that we already know won't work?" Indeed, it's just common sense that if we lower taxes down from where they were in say, the nineties, then unemployment will finally fall.

But the Republicans haven't actually put fourth a jobs bill with the vital lowering taxes component. Even in Congress, where they run the place. You might think they don't actually HAVE a jobs plan. You're wrong! A very sensible plan that is guaranteed to increase employment has been proposed, by state representative with the zen-balanced name of Ritch Workman.

So Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed a bill this week to bring back "dwarf tossing," the barbaric and dangerous barroom spectacle that was imported from Australia and thrived briefly in Florida before it was outlawed in 1989. "I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people," Workman said. "This is an example of Big Brother government. "All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get," Workman said. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"
I'm all for this - if the dwarves are willing to do this kind of work, I say let 'em. Of course, the non-dwarf community is unlikely to benefit from this, and on a national scale, we might have to expand it to include, say, software-specialist tossing or real-estate agent tossing. But on the whole, a worthy plan Republicans! I'm sorry I doubted you.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Quote Of The Day, Makes Its Own Gravy Edition

"Believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans."
-Eric Cantor, talking to the Values Voters summit last Friday.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Liberal Media Outrage - Hank Williams Jr. Fired!

It's official - apparently appearing in a drunken rambling live television interview and comparing the president to Hitler IS enough to get you knocked off a lucrative royalties-saturated gig in an unrelated field. Hank Williams Jr. is out! 

Tea Party nation demands that you stop watching Monday Night Football. Football has a liberal bias!  Perhaps they will devise their own football, using patriot-styled uniforms and no dusky players. Maybe they can call it the TPFL. 

Good news though! From the Tea Party Nation link:
Hank Williams, Jr. is rumored to be thinking about running for the US Senate in Tennessee. As a Tennessean, all I can say is, “Run Hank Run!”
I see a LOT more money coming in for Mr. W. Jr. Can you say, "HankPac?" Hey it worked for Sarah Palin. If he doesn't run, he can always go the Charlie Sheen route and make his money back in frivolous lawsuits.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Can't We Fix This With CGI?

I don't feel like addressing Steve Jobs yet, but remember if it hadn't have been for the iPhone, all cel phones would look like this. (Of course they wouldn't. I just said...!)

Important Thinking From The Other Blog

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo - what did he MEAN?

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Monday, October 03, 2011

I Don't Need To Wear Myself Out Hammering Nails Into THAT Coffin

Herman Cain saying it, that's just primary campaign talk. But this is FOX NEWS talking.

So we're back where we started! Who is the Republican nominee? Better answer quick because from the looks of things, some states are threatening to have their primaries in December.