Unemployment - Embrace It!

Look, what are you 99 percenters upset about? If you don't have jobs its your own fault! If more of you are unemployed then in 2007, it's because more of you are lazy bastards who don't want a job.

Still that doesn't mean the Republicans aren't in there doing what they can to get you more jobs. For one thing, they're refusing to allow a vote on Obama's Jobs Bill. For another, Tea Party Nation is demanding that small businesses stop hiring people. WHERE ARE THE JOBS, MR PRESIDENT?

I, an American small business owner, part of the class that produces the vast majority of real, wealth producing jobs in this country, hereby resolve that I will not hire a single person until this war against business and my country is stopped.

Also until Sharia law is banned, I resolve to blow up all public buildings! And until my wife apologizes for accusing me of kissing other women, I will sleep with other women!

It seems a little over the line but you know what? Sometimes you have to take extreme measures to keep people from wrecking the economy.

(Side note: check out the quote at the begininning of the manifesto - from the movie of Atlas Shrugged. Does no one say it in the novel? Like the guy who wrote the Call For a Strike, I've never read it either.)