Wednesday, October 12, 2011

There IS A Republican Jobs Bill!

President Obama's comprehensive jobs bill was killed yesterday in the Senate. WHERE ARE THE JOBS, OBUMMER? Or as Mitch McConnell more subtly said, "Democrats' sole proposal is to keep doing what hasn't worked, along with a massive tax hike that we know won't create jobs. Why on earth would you support an approach that we already know won't work?" Indeed, it's just common sense that if we lower taxes down from where they were in say, the nineties, then unemployment will finally fall.

But the Republicans haven't actually put fourth a jobs bill with the vital lowering taxes component. Even in Congress, where they run the place. You might think they don't actually HAVE a jobs plan. You're wrong! A very sensible plan that is guaranteed to increase employment has been proposed, by state representative with the zen-balanced name of Ritch Workman.

So Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed a bill this week to bring back "dwarf tossing," the barbaric and dangerous barroom spectacle that was imported from Australia and thrived briefly in Florida before it was outlawed in 1989. "I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people," Workman said. "This is an example of Big Brother government. "All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get," Workman said. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"
I'm all for this - if the dwarves are willing to do this kind of work, I say let 'em. Of course, the non-dwarf community is unlikely to benefit from this, and on a national scale, we might have to expand it to include, say, software-specialist tossing or real-estate agent tossing. But on the whole, a worthy plan Republicans! I'm sorry I doubted you.

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