R U A Racist? Take This Simple Test!

With the suspiciously heated debate going on about illegal immigrants, among vast numbers of people who aren't racists, perhaps it is time to consider that you may, in fact, be one yourself. I believe 98% of racism comes from people who are certain they aren't. That number is statistically likely to include me, so know I don't take this problem lightly.

So how do you know if you're racist? Let's try this. First of all, dictionary.com defines racist as follows:

racist
adj 1: based on racial intolerance; "racist remarks" 2: discriminatory especially on the basis of race or religion [syn: antiblack, anti-Semitic, anti-Semite(a)] n : a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others [syn: racialist]

Okay, we can all agree on this. Let's move on.

Do you endorse this statement: "Regardless of the color of their skin, their culture, or their beliefs, people are people. And all people are created equal." Remember, you can disagree with their beliefs or dislike elements of their culture. You just have to think that these are humans you disagree with.

You probably agree with me so far. Here's where it gets tricky, with the illegal immigration talk. If your problem is that illegal immigrants are a drain on our national resources, this is a legitimate argument, though you are forgetting how much they pay to the states in Sales Tax. If you think they are taking American jobs, this too is legitimate; but your anger would be more effectively aimed at employers. There are fewer of them and laws already exist to penalize hiring unlawfully and pay below-minimum wages.

If you are John Gibson, encouraging white people to make more babies because by 2050 the estimates are that the nation will be a Hispanic majority... yep, you're a racist. Because, you know, so what? They're human beings, they're equals. They are us, we are them. It's like being worried that the population will be over 50% blonde, or Type O negative. It's a non-issue.

If you are afraid that a particular religious or ethnic (or political group) is plotting to "take over the world" then you are probably a racist. Conspiracy is hard to maintain - it's harder to keep secret. And the majority of any group of people is too selfish to participate in those kinds of plans.

If you are worried about mixed-race breeding, you're a racist AND stupid. Genetically speaking, mixed-race is superior. Let's look at it this way - at one end of the scale, Jennifer Garner. At the other, the British Royal Family. 'Nuff said.

Humans (all of us) are pattern-seeking creatures. We want to classify everything. It's almost impossible to stop. So we are prone to divide the human race into "us and them" despite the fact that they are us. The best quick-fix to this problem would be an alien invasion, but in lieu of this we can only practice vigilance against our worst instincts and hope that evolution will take care of the problem eventually.