God Damns America! Says Michele Bachmann

Up until now we've been blaming terrorists and Obama for these things, but it's time we acknowledge the truth: God is not on our side.God hates us and has no problem smiting us down. He's just firing warning shots first to see if we'll try to butter him up.

Do Your Homework, 12/01

Michele Bachmann, embassies, Iran -- on second thought, never mind. We're talking about Michele Bachmann here.

Rattle Rattle Rattle

More rat-in-a-box news:

In a soon-to-be published memoir, GOP candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann accuses former President George W. Bush of “socialism” for his 2007 decision to bail out financial institutions teetering on collapse, according to reports.

“The Bush administration, which had always professed faith in the free-market system, was now reversing its course,” Bachmann writes in “Core of Conviction,” a memoir to be released Nov. 21, according to Fox News, which obtained a copy.

Though Bachmann doesn't name Herman Cain or Sarah Palin, they are also socialists because at the time they publicly supported the bailout. Socialists. Like the French.

The good news for the Republicans is that not long after November 21st, Michele Bachman will drop out of the race, citing a wish to spend more time with her family.

Crazy-Eyes Thing Still Goin' Strong

Poor Michele Bachmann can't win! First bloggers make her look bad by circulating pictures that make her eyes look crazy. Then Newsweek does the same thing, putting a crazy-eyes picture on the cover.

Now her own publisher turns against her by using pictures that Michele Bachmann naively approved, that make her eyes look crazy. What's next? Public appearances where the stage lighting make her look like some crazy-eyed person. Is EVERYBODY trying to make Michele Bachmann look crazy?

A Seething Miasma Just Below The Surface

Look, I know she's not ever going to be president but sometimes you have to listen to Michele Bachmann because she is the standard-bearer for a significant segment of the American right. That's why this stupid thing she said matters.

TAMPA, Fla. -- Republican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann wants oil drilling in Florida's Everglades. That's not sitting well with many Floridians. Bachmann told the Associated Press: "The United States needs to be less dependent on foreign sources of energy and more dependent upon American resourcefulness. Whether that is in the Everglades... we need to go where the energy is. Of course it needs to be done responsibly. If we can't responsibly access energy in the Everglades then we shouldn't do it." However, geologists believe there's not much oil under the Everglades anyway. Collier County's Sunniland Field, the only significant oil field nearby, doesn't produce large quantities of oil, and a former employee tells 10News the oil is difficult to refine. ...Bachmann hasn't been deterred by any naysayers, telling 10News, "The radical environmentalists put up one road block after another to prevent accessing American energy. We also have oil in the Eastern Gulf region."

I say we keep after her until she insists that we need to drill into the side of Lincoln's face on Mt. Rushmore, in case there's some oil there.

But the larger point is now these guys are starting to insist on drilling for oil even where it will never be profitable to do it! Is there any clearer sign that the right values their own talking points over what's best for the country?

Michele Bachmann - So Far Right, She Can't Be Wrong

Long dead serial killer John Wayne Gacy weighed in last night, attempting to defend Michele Bachmann!

Hey, I wasn't really ever "from" Iowa. I spent a year there, got arrested for the first time, then went back to Chicago (where I was born). Did you know that I also used to be a Democratic Party precinct captain? And that I shook hands with Rosalyn Carter?

The Clown/molester may have misjudged his effect here - what he's saying is that Michele Bachmann not only admires a serial killer, but a DEMOCRAT serial killer.

In any event, he needn't have bothered. There are better ways to deal when your candidate makes a statement that diverges from the facts. Melt the facts down and forge new ones. Yes, that pun is intended.

Several strange edits have shown up on Wikipedia entries pertaining to famed Americans referenced by Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann -- specifically, it appears that her fans have attempted to rewrite the lives of actor John Wayne and President John Quincy Adams to fit her woefully inaccurate retellings of history.

Bachmann, who officially launched her campaign yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa, told a Fox News reporter that she was proud to be in the town where John Wayne was from, because she embodies his ideals. Unfortunately for her, it turns out that the actor John Wayne was not from Waterloo, but serial killer John Wayne Gacy was.

Shortly after the gaffe, the Wikipedia page for actor John Wayne was altered to change his birthplace from Winterset, Iowa to Waterloo, apparently as an effort to cover for the misguided politician.

Another edit came after she declared Tuesday morning that the nation's sixth president, John Quincy Adams, was a "founding father," even though he was just a child when his father, the nation's second president, signed the Declaration of Independence.

Sure enough, in short order Adams's Wikipedia entry was changed to call him a "founding father." The page's administrator quickly struck down the revision, insisting that users not make edits "based on current events."

Michele Bachmann could have avoided this kind of brute historical revisionism had she simply said, "I misspoke. I obviously meant John Adams, not John Quincy Adams." It's an easy and harmless thing to say you were wrong about. But SHE CAN'T DO THAT. Therefore, she has trapped herself into claiming that a 9-year-old boy helped draft the Declaration of Independence, and her followers into pretending that they believe it.

Quote of the Day - We Can't Trust Americans With America Edition

Stephanopoulos: In your announcement you said 'my voice is part of a movement to take back our country.' From whom?

Bachmann: Well, from the people all across the nation.

-Michele Bachmann, on ABC's This Morning