Monday, December 17, 2007

Thanks For Asking

And since you ask, I've simply been too busy hanging around with people to write. I've found this is a much more effective way of tamping down the Seasonal Affective Disorder than simply brooding, which is my usual strategy. Go figs!

Went to my office Christmas party last night, which was held at a swanky bowling alley in Hollywood. I was gunning to win a flatscreen HDTV in the raffle. Didn't quite make it, though I did win a wind-up generator portable TV with a lantern on it. And a memory foam pillow. And a DVD player. And a wind-up flashlight and radio. And LED stick-on laps for under-lit places. And a SEX IN THE CITY trivia game, which I gave to the waiter as a tip. 

The reason for all the prizes was everyone was given 5 tickets at the beginning of the evening, then more tickets were awarded to our bowling teams using an arcane selection of rules - how many strikes, how many combinations (3 / 7 split? You win!) and so on. I didn't understand it, but I got another 50 tickets. 

Another guy won two telescopes. Give him a little duct tape, and he's got the best damn binoculars ever.

What I found tremendously disappointing about the evening was this: Nobody, I mean nobody got embarrassingly drunk. The golden age of the office party is clearly past. I remember just a little over ten years ago going to one where a marriage broke up, somebody fell off a bar stool, and a women I barely knew came at me out of nowhere and french-kissed me.  I miss being around that kind of madness. A couple of years ago I was a the Christmas party of a mortgage company and it came pretty close; but since we had all just been laid off it was mighty bitter drinking. Embarrassing but no fun.

You are going to ask me about my plans for Christmas. I know you are. Well, I'm going to Vegas on Friday and I'm staying in town until Christmas day. There are few places more Christmas-immune than Vegas, baby. The Noel is pretty weak sauce in that town. You'd barely know there WAS a holiday except it's half deserted and the dancers in the Rio sky parade are wearing Santa hats.  If I don't write before then, just re-read this post until I get back.


Skot said...

For the last time, you don't have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

According to the Naval Observatory, the difference in daylight hours in LA from solstice to solstice is only 3.75 hours. In Seattle, where SAD is diagnosable, there is nearly eight less hours of daylight in winter. In Fairbanks AK, where SAD is a way of life, the sun rises this time of year about 11 a.m. and sets at 2:40 p.m. You gotta have seasons to get SAD.

You probably have that other common winter ailment, Seasonal Horrible Childhood Association Disorder (SHCAD).

Danielk said...

But it never seems to let up - it's as if the same disorder picks up from the last year, exactly where it left off.

Must be hanging SHCAD.

wamk said...

I hope all of your new-found "winnings" are red, to match your other possessions!

Merry Christmas!

Matthew said...

my office party consisted of 4 people going to the beverly hills hotel - polo lounge, no singapore slims sadly. had far too much to drink, we ended up going to the abbey, noted how 'straight' it was. went home and felt just down right icky!

that evening, realized its about time to jump the shark and buy a mac. no parents of mine are helping me plunk down so i'll man up and do it myself. we should conference soon so i know how to pirate everything. cheers!