The 'Net Really Does Make Your Life Easier

If you're like me (and you probably are because as far as I can tell, I'm the only person who reads this) you are occasionally enraged by things that Donald Trump says. You wish you could argue with, and insult, him. Also, you might have the same reaction about Michelle (Japanese internment camps were great and totally justified) Malkin. You wish you could take them both down a few pegs but who has the time?

Well good news! They're taking up the slack for you.

Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin says Donald Trump is a “clown” and a “coward.” Trump says Malkin is a “dummy” and was “born stupid.”

The pair engaged in a back-and-forth Twitter war, kicking off with Malkin writing to her followers Thursday night that Trump supports the pro-eminent domain Supreme Court case Kelo v. New London, “cheered socialized medicine, smeared ‘my past’ & called me a dummy. #phony.” She also tweeted, “Still waiting for coward @realDonaldTrump to tell me what in my ‘past’ I should be ashamed of. #SmearMerchant.”

Trump responded on Friday, tweeting to Malkin, “at least dummy is true!” and “you were born stupid!”

If I'm choosing sides I'm on Team Malkin, who has never lost money on an Atlantic City casino or been bested by Merv Griffin in a real estate deal. But really why take sides? I finally found something from both camps that I can agree with.

Donald Trump, Apologist For 99% of America's Red Meat

Sorry, what? Trump is up to something else today also?



I wouldn't presume to tell the President what to do, though if it were me I'd make a counter-offer: I'd release the transcripts and give a half-mil to Trumps favorite charity (Hair Club For Men?) if Romney releases 10 more years of tax returns. Then, EVERYBODY would be happy.

Trump Fires Self

"The Blacks" who have a good relationship with Donald Trump may be disappointed to learn that he has dropped out of the presidential race. He released a statement about it!

"After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election".

The statement coincided with an announcement he made from a podium at the NBC "Upfronts" presentation, suggesting that the choice was made to ensure another season of his top-rated (for NBC) reality show. You either run the country or you star in a reality show! The founding fathers won't let you do both!

Of course, when he says he still ranks strongly in the polls, he's being a little Trumpian. His rankings dropped considerably when the President produced a long-form birth certificate. As of this weekend his negatives in the Republican party were roughly equal with Sarah Palin's, the highest negatives of any figure in the "field". The field being imaginary presidential candidates.

So what do we learn about Trumps meteoric rise in the polls and the subsequent sharp decline? Hopefully that Republicans are tired of junk issues and want to see something more substantial coming out of their candidate's mouth. Also, don't underestimate Barack Obama's ability to destroy you by giving you what you ask for. I bet that's how Romney goes down.

A Boy Can Dream

Donald Trump, no longer satisfied with just a birth certificate, now insists that Obama was a terrible magna cum laude.

"I'd like to know how does he get into Harvard, how does he get into Columbia if he isn't a very good student," Donald Trump told the press this morning in New Hampshire.

"If he wants to release it that's fine, if he doesn't want to release it that's fine too. But the word is he wasn't a very good student," Trump added.

Meanwhile, George Stephanopolis follows up on Trump's pledge to release his tax returns when Obama shows the Birth Certificate:

My colleague Michael Falcone caught up with Trump in New Hampshire and asked him if he would follow through and release his tax returns.

“That’s something I would be thinking about doing anyway. That is certainly something I’d be thinking about doing anyway. But before I do anything I have to make the decision in June and the first thing I’m going to be releasing will be financials,” Trump said.

Falcone asked again, will you fulfill that pledge that you made where you said I’m going to tie the birth certificate to my tax records?

“Yeah, at the appropriate time,” Trump responded.

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah, at the appropriate time I’m going to do it,” Trump told him.

Here's my fantasy response from the president:

College records? It's your turn to dance, monkeyboy. Let's see the financials. 


Sure it would be perpetuating a non-issue, but at this point it's all about entertainment anyway.