Exxon-Mobil Is Always Secretly Plotting Against Us

Tomorrow is, if your spam filter isn't working properly, the day you are supposed to boycott the gas companies. Don't buy gas on May 15th! That'll teach them! That's a day of gas profits lost forever, yes?

Oh hell no.

These boycotts pop up about every eight months and have not had the effect of bringing down prices of anything. As far as I can tell, here is what happens when you do this - because the demand for gas doesn't change, you are causing a sales spike today and May 16th, for starters. Also, the guy who is struggling to keep his franchise running on the corner has to be sure to schedule less people on the 15th, and since it's usually one guy anyway it will probably be him. If it's already him, he's just losing money on the 15th and he'll have longer wait times today and the 16th. His oil suppliers will not even notice a difference.

So buy enough gas tomorrow so that you can drive to the commuter center and take public transportation to work. Or get more, so you can drive to the weirdo dealer at the edge of town, and reserve a SMART car. Or get yourself a nice bike.

And walk to the store once in a while, will ya? You could stand to take off a couple pounds, am I right? Of course I'm right. You're American.