Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Complaining About The Weather, Doing Nothing To Fix It

About winter in Minnesota, Garrison Keillor once said "it's the time of year when nature makes a serious effort to kill you."

I live in California, where nature has no such sinister intention. Perhaps it is more laid back here. Still, it's relentlessly grim out there. It's overcast, it's bone-chilling cold. We've lost a year of one of our greatest exports, oranges, to frost. Fortunately, we are able to pump out bad TV in any weather. Still, if I could tolerate a climate like this, I'd move to someplace like Minnesota, where it's much much cheaper to live.

And this is southern California. I can only imagine how things are in my birth place of Santa Cruz, nestled on the sea between San Jose and Monterey. Those ocean breezes can be cruel and if the city wasn't at sea level it would probably snow often. They drink a LOT of coffee in Santa Cruz. Unlike Seattle, some people are probably drinking coffee and surfing at the same time.

Worst part of it is, it keeps threatening to rain but never quite does. And the static electricity is therefore building to Van De Graaf generator levels. Soon I expect to see a group of people warming their hands around the corpse of a goth who shuffled too far before trying to open the door.

If this is what the weather is like in the blue states, no wonder they laugh off global warming!

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