Min Wage Raise - Why Do They Hate America?

Finally! Despite taking Monday off and refusing to let Republicans "participate", Congress has managed to grind out a minimum wage bill. It was supported with ayes from 60 vote-lovin' Republicans; what a difference a sea-change makes!

If I may make a modest proposal, let me suggest why they should have voted to lower the minimum wage to around $3.00 an hour.

If you believe that the brown man is trying to take over America, this minimum wage is a terrible idea. It's no secret that illegal immigrants (the Mexican ones, not Canadians) are drawn to our country by the jobs. (The Canadians are drawn here by dreams of starring in TV shows.) And it's also no secret that businesses, in order to keep profits at a comfortable level, must often pay these immigrants sub-minimum wages without benefits. It's the only way to stay competitive!

The only possible outcome of this bill is to produce massive legal employee layoffs, creating a vacuum that only undocumented workers will be able to fill. Once they're in, they will use up all our resources and probably participate in terrorism.

A more visionary congress would have dropped wages to levels just below what we are paying illegal immigrants. This would make crossing the border a less attractive option, while opening up opportunities for inner-city youths. Not only would more of them have jobs, many would take on two or three jobs! We could have over 100% employment!

Don't go throwing around the words "abject poverty" either. Yes people would earn much less money, but the invisible hand of economics would surely drop prices as the cost of production lowers. Suddenly a Happy Meal, powdered milk, a handful of millet and other essentials would be within the reach of your average poor person. Deflation will solve all our problems.

You can say I'm dreaming, that this economic scenario of deregulation, deflation and low wages would never work, but I'm telling you it can. Mexico has had a system like that for years.