What Happens in Vegas

McCarren Airport, California Pizza Kitchen - Greetings and I hope you had a Merry, Merry Xmas. Me, I've been in a self-imposed Christmas exile here in Las Vegas since Thursday night. I'll be posting some pictures when I get home but in the meantime here's few observations.

1. This is the trip that I have cemented the flying vs. driving rule - driving is always better. I don't know if my flight will be delayed today (so far it's on schedule) but it takes about five hours to drive from my front door to the Golden Nugget parking lot. On the other hand, a shuttle picked me up at 2:00 Thursday and I left Burbank Airport at 5:30, arriving at the hotel around 7:30pm. Had the flight left on time I wound have arrived in Vegas an hour earlier than driving, but it still woulda cost me $200 more, not counting cab fares, shuttles, and replacing the leatherman all-in-one repair tool that I carry around in my murse. Airport security, dontcha know.

Incidentally there was a terrorist incident on Friday but as of tonight security is no more irritating than usual. Uh... thanks?

2. To hell with the Golden Nugget. I have said that I like the place because it's cheaper than the strip hotels (located as it is on Fremont Street, downtown) and it's closer to the real, mob-controlled Rat Pack Vegas that I treasure. And that's all great but - it's surrounded by nothin'. The Nugget is the best you can do within walkind distance, and it's not so good. Very slow at Christmas. Hell, I wasn't even approached by hookers until Saturday. See below.

3. Hookers are just like Priceline.com. I'm telling you at the start of this anecdote I did not, and will not ever, pay for sex. It's not a morality issue with me; I'm just cheap.

So I'm wandering around the casino floor and there at the end of a row of slot machines a lovely young woman is standing, She says, "hi, can I talk to you?" I try to defer, telling her, "thanks, but I already know where this is going." However, I did sit down for a chat because I had no plans and time to kill. And at least she wasn't tying to sell me a timeshare.

I explained that I have no problem with hookers, only they're kind of like fish in a barrel to me and I prefer real fishing. She persisted though, and described a few services that she offered normally for around $200, and asked me what I'd be willing to pay for them. I said I wouldn't insult her with a figure. She said she just wanted me to name a figure.

$40, I said, which was what I had on me.

She said, that's too low. Maybe if you were willing to go a little over $50 we could make a deal. So I'm thinking she would have settled at $45 had I not walked away from the deal. Remember this, negotiators. If you're negotiating in Vegas, remember its legal there. Though probably not in the Golden Nugget Casino, so use that as leverage.

4. Most strangers think I have a British accent. I don't, honest. Listen to this if you don't believe me. It must be my esoteric word choice.

5. You've got to bet small to lose small. I think I lost $45 dollars over the whole 3.5 days. On gambling, wiseguy. It's just as entertaing to watch other people lose their money as it is to lose your own. Just remember to keep moving, so they don't blame their bad luck on ya.