Look, it's me. See those people behind me? Jurors.
Yep, we're all sitting in a big room in Van Nuys, waiting to be empaneled on a criminal jury. This is one of the great honor of our democracy, being allowed to participate in the justice system instead of turning it all over to corrupt officials. Part of the deal, I suppose is that while you have to endure the annoyance of hanging around this room all day (or god forbid, actually serving on a jury) you can at least rely on others doing the same when YOU are brought to trial for holding up a liquor store.
And really, is this any more annoying than my other plan, which was going to work and pushing that paper around for eight hours? I think not. In fact, this is a pleasant change of pace. I get to meet new people, I can surf the net on the county's Wi-Fi dime; it's actually the day off I needed. Plus, they tell us that we'll probably have a two-hour lunch.
The last time I did this I wound up on the same panel as Ray Romano (yeah, that one) and tellingly the lawyers knocked me off before Ray. Does it mean I am even more of a distraction than an internationally famous TV star? I'd like to think so. The jury is still out on that one.