And You Thought It Was Because He Didn't Have One

Mitt Romney - during the campaign, did it ever seem like his heart really wasn't in the whole being president thing? Well, it probably wasn't.

More than being reticent, Romney was at first far from sold on a second presidential run. Haunted by his 2008 loss, he initially told his family he would not do it. While candidates often try to portray themselves as reluctant, Tagg insisted his father’s stance was genuine. 

“He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire to . . . run,” said Tagg, who worked with his mother, Ann, to persuade his father to seek the presidency. “If he could have found someone else to take his place . . . he would have been ecstatic to step aside. He is a very private person who loves his family deeply and wants to be with them, but he has deep faith in God and he loves his country, but he doesn’t love the attention.”

Who else has Tagg Romney met, who was reluctant to run for President? Hmmm.

Anyway, that would explain THAT campaign pretty handily, right?

The First Casualty is Talking Points

In today's speech by Wayne LaPierre the trusted Frenchman proposed that schools be patrolled by armed volunteers, trained by the NRA. It caused a shockwave throughout the conservative community, because they had to weigh this idea against the idea of gun control. The volunteers won.

Why? Because.

A: Airport security is actually effective and has prevented terrorism. You might have thought from reading that a lot of the right regarded the TSA as useless but you were mistaken - a knee-jerk reaction to a single incident is just what the doctor ordered!

B: The New Black Panthers and union thugs aren't dangerous at all! As you can see from this conversation, they're just as likely to be folk who you want to give a rifle to so they can be around your kids all day.

C. Violent rhetoric leads to violence. Remember when I was all, dude, maybe back up on the "tree of liberty" talk and they were all, hey, chill, crazy people be crazy no matter what you say, yo? Turns out they don't believe that at all! It's movies and videogames and rap music that causes these shootings.

So a volunteer national army trained and financed by the NRA is the sensible solution to gun violence, and silencing the media is the only way to protect America's freedom to carry arms. It's guaranteed in the constitution!

How Do We Prevent Another Newtown Shooting?

Well, let's start with the obvious: Glenn Beck tweeted:

Yes, it has to be guns. Everything else we are doing with our kids is good. Found in toy dept for kids age 6 MONTHS

— Glenn Beck (@glennbeck) December 18, 2012

Giving kids pretend iPhone cases OBVIOUSLY leads to school shootings by adults.

Mike Huckabee, on the other hand, is sure those kids were shot because God isn't allowed in schools. That's logical! Either God has no power in places where prayer isn't allowed (I wonder how he got along before language?) or even worse, GOD KILLED THOSE KIDS because he wanted to call attention to the lack of prayer. No wonder it's called "God-fearing"! I'm an atheist and right now, I'm scared s***less.



Neither of these things seems to DIRECTLY address the problem. Some of my crazy far-left lunatics are saying if there were less guns available for sale, there would be less shootings. HA! More sensible heads are prevailing; the solution is to arm the teachers duh. The violent union thug teachers must carry semi-automatics themselves. Of course, no one wants to talk about who's paying for the guns, ammo and training. NOT MY TAX DOLLARS, THAT'S FOR SURE. Let 'em buy that stuff themselves, like they do pencils and books.

Requesting Guidance From The Right

Are any of the tweets listed in this Wonkette post racist? Because you know, we liberals see racism in everything.

Politics Is Uninteresting Because It's All Over Next Week Anyway

These people with their fiscal cliff talks and plans for the coming year - come on now! Anybody who is paying attention knows that 9 days from now, the world ends! It ends before the current misbegotten session of Congress does! No matter what you're up to, the catch phrase that covers it: THERE AIN'T NO FUTURE IN THAT.

With that in mind, I just bought a refrigerator on credit. It delivers to my place on the 19th, and the first payment is due (haha) next month, as if there were such a thing. For two glorious days I can enjoy perfectly chilled food and significant energy savings, and then bang, aloha, I don't have to worry about it any more.

Actually it is kinda interesting to watch politics. The Republicans are arguing that they must be allowed to completely rewrite 50 years of law by the end of the year or they will take us over a fiscal cliff. Tall order, Republicans! You're bluffing of course. You'll probably say you just started on the 18th and were totally planning to be finished by December 30th.

I should talk. I promised to visit my Mom on Christmas.

III Citadel - Everybody Wins!

Since the election there has been a lot of talk about this state or that state seceding from the United States, almost as if they didn't want to have a black guy as their boss. (I know what you're going to say, but you didn't hear that when Clinton or Carter was president) Anyway, there was this unfortunate Supreme Court decision after the civil war which kind of made that impossible. But there must be a solution! Where can people who love America but can't stand the lazy, president-loving Americans who live in it go? Hopefully, here!

The cornerstone of the Citadel is III Arms Company, an industry to support the first wave of Patriots who will become modern American Pioneers. We will build Fighting Arms and ammunition for Patriots and around us a town will begin to grow. Other revenue streams are already in the works. Our intent is to purchase at least one thousand acres, and construct a walled town of at least one square mile to withstand any potential violence from hungry, diseased Souls. Obviously the Citadel is not being built to defy any laws of the United States or the State of Idaho, or to withstand any .gov or .mil attack. Our fortifications are merely defensive for a SHTF world. 

The Citadel will have between 3,500 and 5,000 households within the walls, with a single gate permitting access. The Citadel is not to be a closed society, instead a refuge for genuine Patriots who wish to live without neighbors who are Liberals and Establishment political ideologues, open for tourists who will be welcomed into our town to visit our planned Firearms Museum, shop in our Town Center, stay in a B&B or hotel while vacationing and exploring the wonderful skiing, hunting and fishing opportunities in the area, and many other attractions we will offer.

It's like a gated community, only with more weapons. And apparently geared towards defense against government run websites like .gov or .mil.

Look, I think it's a great idea. We can't stop these people from voting but at least we can keep them in a box right? Throw some money at them. Let's make it happen.

Finally, The Rice Controversy Boiled Down

"McCain, Graham, and Ayotte immediately told reporters that the real scandal here is that when Rice went on TV, she said a thing that turned out not to be true, simply because the CIA had told her that thing, and instead of simply saying “we don’t know,” she said that they thought maybe it was one thing, but they were still looking into it. How dare she mislead the American people like that!
No, really, that is the actual controversy, as near as we can figure out."

- Wonkette 

Quote of the Day: My Condition Is Deteriorating Edition

“I am more disturbed now than before,” said South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/11/26/rice-to-meet-with-top-gop-senators-after-their-objections-to-her-replacing/#ixzz2DSIrFS3f

S'no Big Deal

I just spent the 4 day weekend almost completely off the internet, opting instead of a Ski Condo close to Mammoth Mountain in California. I do not ski, but I hike and that seems to be enough.Once in a while I had to open up the Maps app to find Hot Creek or to settle an argument over which Bond movie had the exploding pen. But for the most part it was the least digital 4 days I've spent in a long time. Also avoided - news. So if anything had happened (it looks like nothing did) I'd have missed it.

Anyway, hiking in reduced oxygen environments is surprisingly pleasant, and I recommend it to you.

Oh Fox News, You Scamp

So I was just poking around Fox News and look at this! It's an urgent story about the jobless claims! Goodness, it looks like good news for the economy! That's very even-handed of them, considering that some there say that Obama is bad for the economy! 

So I clicked on it. Turns out to be a story about government malfeasance that has nothing to do with jobless claims. Bait 'n' switch? Incompetent coding? Matter of opinion? I report. You decide. By the way, check out this caption:

Twofer!

Black Friday Gift Idea for the Hostess Executives

Everybody knows that the failure of Hostess Foods resulted from the baker's union strike. The execs at Hostess must be very depressed this holiday season, having done everything they can to keep the company afloat.  In fact, they were doing so well that they tripled their salaries over the last ten years! Pretty good considering they had to declare bankruptcy twice.

Those mean bakers should do the honorable thing and chip in to get the executives a gift. Considering that it's hard to buy a gift for the guy who has everything (I bet literally in this case) they'll probably have to do a little digging. Let's start here.

A chorus of cheers rings out the minute you pull up. Tailgating will never be the same now that your Bulleit Frontier Whiskey Woody-Tailgate Trailer is on the scene. Designed by interior designer Brad Ford, it's impressive on the outside, but what's on the inside truly astounds: sleek leather furnishings and details from Moore & Giles, rich wood finishings (handcrafted from reclaimed Bulleit Bourbon casks), elegant glassware, and a top-notch entertainment system, including a flat-screen TV, Blu-ray Disc™ player, and a state-of-the-art sound system, plus a one-year supply of Bulleit Bourbon and Bulleit Rye*. You park, open the hatch, and slide out the bar—cocktails anyone?

The details:

• Two limited-edition trailers available. (First available for immediate delivery; second available within six months of placing order.)
• Transportation and delivery of trailer is included within the continental United States.
• Created by designer Brad Ford, who has more than 10 years of experience in interior design and was named one of America's Top Young Designers by House Beautiful and recognized as one of the Rising Stars of Interior Design by the International Furnishings and Design Association.
• Moore & Giles, founded in 1933 in Lynchburg, Virginia, is dedicated to designing and developing the most luxurious natural leathers, working with tanneries worldwide and delivering unparalleled quality.
• Entertainment system by Sony® and includes: TV, sound-bar speakers, receiver with touch screen, and smartphone controls.

Come on, it's only $150k! More if you get a car to haul it around.And that's per executive of course - you don't expect them to share do you? Come on bakers! 

Insist on Cooks Who Can't See Doctors!

Olive Garden - when you're here, you're like family. A family with untreated tuberculosis!

NEW YORK (AP) - The owner of Olive Garden and Red Lobster restaurants is putting more workers on part-time status in a test aimed at limiting costs from President Barack Obama's health care law.
Darden Restaurants Inc. declined to give details but said the test is only in four markets across the country.
The move entails boosting the number of workers on part-time status, meaning they work less than 30 hours a week.
Under the new health care law, companies with 50 or more workers could be hit with fines if they do not provide basic coverage for full-time workers and their dependents.
Starting Jan. 1, 2014, those penalties and requirements could significantly boost labor costs for some companies, particularly in low-wage industries such as retail and hospitality, where most jobs don't come with health benefits.

Consider the implications of this, lobster/olive oil eaters. The first thing you should know is that THEY WOULD LOSE MONEY IF THEY PROVIDED THEIR EMPLOYEES WITH HEALTH CARE. Which means that if you go to any location today, there is a probability that one of the employees, who cannot afford to miss any hours, is carrying typhoid.

The second thing is soon those employees will have even less hours, and will probably have to turn to prostitution to make ends meet. Do you want a typhus-ridden hooker serving your crab cakes? For God's sake, eat somewhere else!

Maybe not Applebee's, by the way.

"Is A Republican Civil War Looming?"

Headline via FoxNews. The answer seems to be, "no, as long as the moderates stop fighting." Okie dokie. I'm fine with that too.

Loyalty Above All

I say a lot of bad things about Republicans but I have to admit, they are loyal to each other. When the rest of the world was saying "Donald Rumsfeld is some kind of idiot!" and Rumsfeld himself offered to  resign, Bush wouldn't let him. When Michael Steele was making a particular mess of the RNC, did they fire him immediately? No they waited a long, long time. Even when Tom DeLay was facing expulsion from the house for ethics violations, their first move was to float a bill changing the house rules to allow him to stay. Couldn't quite get that one to fly, but they took a stab at it.

Which is why Broward County Supervisor Of Elections Dr. Brenda Snipes has nothing to worry about. Even though it's about two weeks after the election and they just found over 900 ballots, uncounted, in a warehouse.

Snipes said there is no reason for alarm. "I've run several elections here, and this election was run no different than any other," she said. "I think the difference with this election is that there was a close race between the two presidential candidates, and there was pressure put on everyone, including our office, to get all of the votes, count, count, count, so you don't have an opportunity to check every box that comes back because you got to get what you got in hand and get it out of there, so if the voters would rather that we kind of sit back and relax and then clean up and find ballots. Then I think they would really be very upset." 

She said that further complicating this election was a very long ballot filled with proposed amendments. Snipes has promised that her department will meet their deadline by Sunday.

Come on, you heard the lady. It was a close presidential race. How could anyone in Florida conceive a thing like THAT happening? It's like the very long lines at the ballot. Who'd have thought people might VOTE in this thing?

Anyway, look forward to the interviews in 2016. Snipes will be great then.

It's Important That They Know What They Did Wrong

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus following the results of Election Day ordered a "full analysis" of what happened during the 2012 election cycle, group spokesman Sean Spicer told Fox News on Saturday. 

Spicer said Republicans did something things well including fundraising, researching, videos implementation and executing a good ground game. But the review will look at changes needed to be made regarding mechanics and messaging.

Priebus is just trying to protect his job. The real problem is not with the RNC, it's with THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. The American people were simply too stupid and too lazy to vote for Mitt Romney.

Republicans need to keep telling them that, every chance they get.

All Talk, No Action

Maybe if they'd stop backing down, and start DOUBLING DOWN, they'd win all the elections. AMIRIGHT?

Why They Lost

After his speech, Mr. Obama tried to call both Mr. Boehner and the Senate Republican leader, Mitch McConnell, but was told they were asleep.

See, these guys care so little about their jobs that they couldn't be bothered to stay awake on Election Night. I'm not an elected official but if George Bush had called ME in 2004, I'd have picked up.

Quote Of The Day: Bitter Facebook Aftermath Edition

The liberals don't believe that Phil the only way to educate even a few if then is to SHOW them. If we keep bailing Obama out these morons will keep voting for him and others like him. So all they have to do is run ads telling the people all the free shit they are gonna get to get elected.

-James J. Spicer, commenting here. I promised him that I won't vote for Obama any more. And no, I'm not entirely sure what the rest of it even means. Who is Phil?

Treading On Them

A couple of days ago, the right managed to lose the presidency AND a couple of seats in the senate, which is a big deal considering how bad the economy is. As the dust clears, it's human nature to tweak the formula and figure out how to do better next time.

Well the bigger you think the problem is, the bigger your solution. The folks (and they are Folks over there) at Tea Party Nation thinks the election was A Disaster Of Unimaginable Magnitude. Therefore, the solution must be correspondingly severe.

There are some lessons to be learned from this disaster. The first lesson is, no more moderate Republican candidates. Mitt Romney now joins the long list of moderate Republicans who line up right next to General George Custer. Romney lost. McCain lost, George W. Bush barely won and set the stage for Obama. Bob Dole lost. The only reason George H.W. Bush won a single term was because he was Ronald Reagan’s Vice President. When he ran on his own as a moderate, he gave us Bill Clinton.

We conservatives have to say this time; we will not support a moderate again. Our desire to remove Barack Obama and the Party of Treason was so strong that we jumped on board the Romney train. The Republican establishment correctly assumed that if it could get Romney nominated, we would have no choice but to fall in line.

It happened this time. It will not happen again.
Our message to the Republicans should be very clear. If you nominate a moderate in 2016, you will be on your own as conservatives will leave the party, assuming we are there in the party in 2015.

I'm with them on this, and I'll add that it's inevitable. The Tea Party and Republicans were never the same thing, and trying to make them the same is doing neither any favors.  Sure it will split the vote, but the vote is already split. Better to make it official. Better to make it honest.

We have two choices. We can surrender and allow the Party of Treason to continue to destroy liberty in this nation or we can stand and fight

I will only speak for myself. I was born a free American and I shall stay a free American. I will not let this land go into the dark night of tyranny. I will not stand by and watch the lamp of liberty be extinguished.

As far as TPN is concerned, Republicans are the Party of Treason. Democrats, presumably, are the Great Satan. Let them go!

Hamlet Was Right

So I'm listening to Rush Limbaugh this morning (yes, for schaudenfreude) and he is completely mystified that Obama could have won both the electoral college AND the popular vote, after that disastrous first term. And I realized that it's exactly the way I felt in 2004. Mitt Romney is their John Kerry - an unappealing rich weirdo who you nominate when you think you can run ANYBODY and the results are still in the bag because the other candidate is so awful.

Turns out, not so much.

As Hamlet said, "there are more things in heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy". Such things include independent voters, people who were neither thrilled nor disgusted by either candidate. Strange as it seems, THESE PEOPLE EXIST. I know, weird right? Anyway, there were enough of them to overcome the hoards of people who had made up their minds LAST year about which guy to vote for.

It's important to note that the victory is pretty narrow here. We shouldn't consider it a mandate. What a sensible person will see from this is everybody should compromise and listen to each other's ideas.

I'm sorry this post wasn't more snarky... check out twitter and facebook feeds for that. I'm exhausted from snarky.