Friday, July 13, 2007

I Was Wrong About Blaming The Messenger

So sue me.

I did a little railing against ad hominum attacks yesterday, calling them a distraction from the real issues. But a weird thing happened. Through means I can't fully comprehend, I have acquired access to a news database from the year 2030. I think it has to do with ATT upgrading its network for the iPhone. Anyway, if you look at these quotes, I think you'll see how wrong I have been. My bad, people!

Al Gore looks sheepishly into the distance. "The thing I never realized was that one man CAN make a difference. Once Tipper and I decided to move our family into that two-room apartment, the global warming trend reversed! It's documented. They were right to ridicule me." Gore sighs heavily and rolls his futon back into place.

See, I wouldn't have seen that coming either.

It was revealed today that Niger had actually sold over 3 tons of yellowcake uranium to Sadam Hussein's Iraqi government in the the 1990s. The evidence had gone unnoticed for decades because Joe Wilson, United States envoy, was enjoying an Iraqi vacation at the behest of his wife, Valarie Plame. "Joe was just there to party on the government's dime," an anonymous source told us. The papers revealing the truth were found under a mini-bar in the hotel where Wilson stayed.

Wow! Is my face red!

The "fame addiction pill" has it's detractors, but Sheehan isn't one of them. "I was out of control. I didn't care about mourning my son, I didn't care whether the war was just. Hell, I was FOR THE WAR! But I just had to have fame."

Page after page of this stuff -- DIXIE CHICKS HOSTED AL-QUAEDA CEL IN STUDIO, OLBERMAN'S EX-DATES TELL ALL: "HE'S A BELOW-AVERAGE LOVER", POOR PEOPLE DIRECTLY AFFECTED BY RISING PRICE OF HAIR PRODUCTS -- I realize now that I have been horribly wrong. In fact it's always appropriate to counter a rational argument with an attack on the person making it.

That's why I feel comfortable saying that Rush Limbaugh's opionions are worthless because he's a drug addict, and anything anyone says on Fox... well, come on! They're fame-whores, or they wouldn't be on TV, right? People who fight illegal immigration are racists, by the way.

Man, is this easier than a real argument? You bet it is! Not that you'd know. You're a terrorist.

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