Saturday, July 05, 2008

I'm Your Shill

I didn't realize it until just now, but I'll sell myself out for a handful of seeds. Or you know, almost anything. For example, last month a publisher contacted me out of the blue and offered to send me a book if I'd blog about it - and look, I did! It's actually a pretty cool book and it looks great on my black kidney-shaped bachelor pad coffee table, but the point is I wouldn't have given it a second thought in a bookstore. Not that I go into those places any more. NOBODY does.

Meanwhile, a week ago I attempted to attend a record release party at an exclusive club in Hollywood and didn't make it in. I wrote to Chelsea E, the sexy chanteuse who threw a party at a place so exclusive that it wouldn't even let her own guests in, and she was suitably mortified. She mailed me the gift bag they were giving out (that I would have received had I been allowed inside) and it contained candy, a scented candle, a CD, a green condom, and a T-shirt, which I wore to the park yesterday for the 4th of July concert.

So attention, purveyors of merchandise! If you got it and it's free, I want it! And I'll talk about it! I only own two t-shirts which are devoid of advertising. Your message here! I'm always looking for low-carb tasty snacks! I'll happily test software or gadgets for you and report the results. And the results will ALWAYS BE FAVORABLE. 

And ladies, do you wish you had a little more of a reputation? I can help you out with that.

Look, I might as well do this. I'm running out of crackpot political opinions fast. And once Obama is president, what am I gonna complain about? Endorse my efforts to endorse you! 

PS: You know what? I think while I'm waiting for my laundry to dry I'll head off to The Stand (5780 Canoga Ave in Woodland Hills, a block north of Burbank) to pick up my a free hot dog and fountain drink. They were passing out coupons at the park yesterday.


wamk said...

You wore the shirt to the concert. Did you also wear the condom?


Skot said...

What? That nice article was really logrolling? That's allowed over at TPN::BOW?

Actually, that's a pretty cool picture book, and on your (what I presumed was a heartfelt) recommendation I thumbed through it at Barnes and Noble last weekend. Didn't buy it though.

Well, now I want a free copy. and I'm sure WAMK wants one too.

Danielk said...

Piece by agonizing piece, I tear down the illusions of all those around me.

I wish I had some shilling tips - these book buys contacted me out of the blue. Getting free stuff I WANT is still beyond me.