Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sure, Make It Easy For Me

The Democratic Convention has been on for three days now... and I haven't watched a SINGLE MINUTE OF IT!


That's a lie. I actually saw most of Ted Kennedy's speech but I didn't hear it. I was reading the CC titles while on a treadmill at the gym. It looked effective enough. But I'm getting all my info about the infomercial from blogs and news. It's quicker, more efficient and even more entertaining.

So far the convention has been kind of a disappointment - to Republicans. Sure Fox News was able to whip this up:


They'll say it proves that liberals are all angry and hate America, but if you listen closely they're not chanting "Fuck America!" Earlier this week ace cub reporter Griff Jenkins met with this chant while asking the protestors to explain themselves, and was reduced to shouting "Why do you hate free speech!" Apparently the Fox definition of the term is "talking to Fox News." It doesn't occur to them that not talking to Fox is a freedom all its own.

Then there are the PUMAs. Republicans were so looking forward to the Party Unity My Ass people disrupting the flow of the convention by refusing to accept Obama as the nominee and demanding Hillary instead. Unfortunately, Hillary put the Kibosh on that last night with her speech, and Bill Clinton didn't do the PUMAs any favors tonight. And it's becoming increasingly obvious that while there may have been some disenfranchised Democrat members, the organization is run by Republicans.

So tomorrow Obama will accept the nomination that was entered a few hours ago, and he'll make a speech that Republicans will insist proves that he hates America, and the Democratic National Convention will be over.

And then, the real fun begins.

The Republican National Convention starts Labor day. You want proof that Karl Rove isn't running things nowadays? They're starting on a holiday that was sponsored by UNIONS. Further proof? It's a few hours after the end of the Muscular Dystrophy telethon, another informercial, associated with a disease that causes gradual and irreversible weakness.

I'm not done. Opening night speakers include the President and Vice President. This isn't so bad, I mean, they had to put them somewhere and why not the furthest point from the night that McCain is speaking? But it also happens to be the anniversary of the President's biggest Achilles' heel, the LANDFALL OF HURRICANE KATRINA. They scheduled the Convention to run at exactly the time of year that we remember the worst footage of the disaster from.

Perhaps it's a strategy, distract people on the anniversary with an event. Oh yeah, they're holding the whole party in New Orleans. * If these parallels don't get play from the press every single night of the convention, I think we can finally write off the myth of a liberal media.

And weirdly, they could have held it a week later and had McCain accept the nomination on 9/11.

What the hell has happened to these people?

* I misread something. The whole party is in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Who can turn the world on with a smile? John McCain!


Addendum: From Wonkette:
Talking about the possibility of Hurricane Gustav making landfall during the Republican convention, Karl Rove tells Fox News, “The Republicans can’t seem to get a break when it comes to August and when it comes to the weather.” Right in the middle of the president’s vacation, frequently! Stupid asshole weather, poor Republicans.

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