Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Inexplicable Office Crime

Everybody takes post-it notes, or a roll of tape or a highlight marker or some little thing from their place of business. I understand that. This, I don't understand...

Yesterday our kitchen order came in. Once a month we order up a supply of coffee, tea, honey, forks, and so on - kitchen things to keep up alive while our noses are ground off. This month Deborah, the supply lady, added a ten-pound bag of lemons to the order, because it was a deal and it's the smallest size available. She put them in a bowl on the break table.

Just now, the bowl has gone missing.

I can see maybe as much as two pounds of lemons going in a day. After all, they are free, and fresher is better. But I cannot for the life of me envision the motivation for taking the remaining 8 pounds all at once. It's not like anyone in the office has an insatiable appetite for lemons. It's not like a bunch of people in the sales staff all decided at once, "let's have a lemon!" And the bowl! Why take the bowl?

It isn't that I'm angry about not getting MY lemon, I'm just mystified. I mean what the HELL? And what's next, a gross of balsa-wood coffee stirrers? All the plastic forks? Ice trays? No one is safe. This is the end of innocence.

4 comments:

martin said...

When life gives you a bowl of lemons you take all the lemons you can carry.

Also, when you said, "the bowl has gone missing" did you mean to imply that they took the bowl containing the lemons also?

Danielk said...

Yes, precisely! Suggests a single perp rather than a conspiracy, doesn't it?

Publius said...

Maybe the oranges were jealous?

Danielk said...

they DID say they were tired of being compared to the apples all the time...