Monday, March 19, 2012

PROOF That Obama Controls Oil Prices!

Here's a graph from Think Progress.

As you can see, the nation is producing more oil and using less foreign oil than during the B*** years, and yet the prices are still rising! The only possible explanation is that Obama is driving the price of oil up so people will buy less, be forced into using socialist renewable energy. He probably wants us all to take bicycles to work too, which will bankrupt the heroic American auto industry!

You might say, why is Obama doing this in an election year, when he could easily price oil out of the market once he starts his second term? Because he knows he's going to lose against Sarah Palin, that's why! America will demand that Sarah Palin enter the race, then she'll win the debates with Obama (because she's very smart and Obama can't even talk without a teleprompter) and then Obama won't get to make gas more expensive. It's all so obvious!

Oh, and stop getting upset about those "Don't Re-Nig" bumper stickers. They're not racist according to "the dictionary."

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