Monday, March 09, 2009

I Believe The Children Are The Future

All right, if Rush isn't the leader of the Republican Party, who is? Not Roger Ailes, as I suggested last week. God knows it isn't Michael Steele - they probably won't even let him be a Republican by the end of the month. I'd like it to be Warner Todd Huston or Madeline's Dad, if only to keep me from having to set new browser favorites. Sadly, no.

Truth is, the party is leaderless these days, as they struggle to redefine themselves after a particularly bad 2 years. They need a voice fast! And I got just the guy.

You may recognize Jonathon Krohn as the 14-year-old wunderkind who set CPAC on fire with his rhetoric, or as the author of DEFINE CONSERVATISM. What's more, the Robinson Agency helpfully reminds us:

Jonathan has been performing on stage since he was eight. Inside Edition's Debora Norville named him “Atlanta’s Most Talented Child” in 2006.

As a veteran actor, Jonathan has had three call-backs for the Broadway part of Michael Banks in Mary Poppins, and has played leading roles in a variety of plays, including Peter Pan, Dear Edwina, Children of Eden, The Secret Garden, as well as parts in The Wizard of Oz, Tom Sawyer, The Jungle Book, and Alice in Wonderland.
So he's got the camera chops that Bobby Jindal apparently lacks. Republicans, this is your guy. Since he's home-schooled, traveling won't be a problem. And if he is caught trying to entice underage kids to have sex, no big deal. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink.

Yet.

Best of all, when he inevitably has to apologize to Rush, it'll just be kinda cute.

5 comments:

Publius said...

Wow. Attacking kids now, are you Piker? Are you THAT afraid your Messiah sold you a bill of goods?

Danielk said...

That ain't no kid. That's William Krystol's mini-me.

wamk said...

I don't recall you having the same attitude towards these kids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54tjbgJmLFg

Danielk said...

Maybe I will, once I read their books.

Anonymous said...

First a man-child runs the country for 8 years and now they turn to a child-child.

For more on the Doogie Howser RNC check out my article at:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/warren-holstein/gop-mini-me-no-pubes-no-p_b_173298.html