If The Glove Does Not Him Fit, Surely Then Thou Must Acquit **Updated W/Pics**

I'm chilling out after that most exhausting of travel activities, the bus tour. Today we went out of the reach of the tube to both Shakespeare's birthplace and Warwick Castle, both potent indictments of my own country's failure to produce more than three hundred years of recorded history.

Man, were they touristy! Shakespeare's birthplace presently sits across from Iago Jewelers and adjacent to a very nice gift shop. There is also a big garden on the spot where probably 2 other houses of similar size once stood. There's a nice place to get a Subway sandwich down the street and some decent Italian further. Fun fact takeaway about Shakespeare - his father was a wealthy glove-maker. Unlikely supposition: Shakespeare wore a t-shirt that said "I Hearteth Stratford-On-Avon."

(note the gorgeous weather in that picture! An hour later it was raining, hard; five minutes after that, gorgeous again. It's how the land stays green and verdant.)

Warwick Castle used to be home to King Henry the 8th, and is now an amusement park that smells like a thousand years of urine on the inside. They charge extra for a peek at the dungeon. In the castle itself, rooms are inhabited by waxwork dummies in action poses. King Henry only appears once, and this is admirable restraint considering he is everyone's favorite. They also have a mighty good young Winston Churchill, who I can add to the list of great men who were shorter than I. Fun fact takeway - as a young man, Churchill was pretty hot. Unlikely supposition: King Henry posed once with all six of his wives for a waxwork sculpture.

I'm too tired to upload the pictures, which are in my camera upstairs. Please feel free to envision.

**Update** okay, I have uploaded pictures.