Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Beef With the War On Christmas

This war on Christmas thing bugs the hell outta me because NOT EVERYBODY CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS. Why not use "Happy Holidays" as your greeting? It includes Christmas. It says "whoever you are, whatever you celebrate, I hope you enjoy it." "Merry Christmas" says "I wish you well if you're a Christian like me. Otherwise, you're on your own."

(h/t to Publius, whose thoughts about the orgins of Kwanzaa inspired me to quote my own comment here.)


Publius said...

So, why should I be forced to alter a national holiday that 90% of my fellow Americans celebrate (with 80% of them being Christians, too) because some tiny, teeny, whiny minority of militant atheists demand that we do so??

Why should I care that a miniscule percentage of American militant atheists hate my holiday?

I thought we lived in a majority rules country. When did it become the tyranny of the teeny, tiny minority?

So, why don't the militant atheists move to france if they hate religion and all?

wamk said...

Merry Christmas.

wamk said...

Upon reflection, maybe we should follow Piker's lead. This guy in the link seems to be pretty much on topic as well. He seems like a good guy.

Danielk said...

Fine, insist on "Merry Christmas"; just know it puts you in the same league as a ranting fundamentalist Muslim lawyer.

Publius said...

And that comment puts you four-square in hyperboleville. I wonder if the decorate their houses for Christmas in hyperboleville. I think they wound't miss Christmas in hyperboleville for a MILLION dollars.

Danielk said...

Hyperboleville? This is the best Christmas EVER!

Publius said...

Gallop says that just over 80% of Americans claim to be Christians and 93% celebrate the holiday.

See that big majority that don't celebrate it? Now, why should we force that 93% of the country that does to materially alter they way they celebrate because 7% don't celebrate it?

Publius said...

Hey, at long last I finally found a "holiday" greeting that might not offend you, Piker!

1. For Our Liberal, Citizens of the World Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low- stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great or, on the other hand, that hate America and all it stands for. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

If you find offense in any of the greeting you have found herein, please do realize that it is because we are ignorant, racist and hateful, even though we don't want to be. We are by birth because we are white. We cannot help it. So, if this greeting upset you, please feel free to know that everything America stands for is evil and we disavow it all. You are right. We are horrible. Worst ever. Worst in history.

Please, please, please don't be offended. I'd rather die than offend you.

2. For Our American Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Danielk said...

Haha! I've been chuckling at that one since the Reagan era.

And it's funny because it's true! Every one of Obama's Christmas cards were 6 pages long!

Publius said...

Crap. I just realized that ain't on the White House Christmas card list no more!

Then again, what do I want with a new photo of Marx, Lenin, or Chairman Mao every year for?