Thursday, December 04, 2008

Another Cultural Landmark Threatened

I woke up, bleary-eyed, and turned on the local news; shocked I saw that THE BODY SHOP was on fire. Not the mall outlet for lotion and essential oils! This Body Shop is the strip club on Sunset near the House Of Blues.

This place has a history for me. When I was about to married, my improv colleage Debra and her boyfriend Steve asked me about my bachelor party plans. I had to admit I simply didn't have any. They would not let that stand. Debra had a few irons in the fire; in addition to doing improv, she was also a "scream queen" appearing in several low-budget horror movies, and a stripper. While I'm at it, she was also a snake-handler (literally, pervert) and a fire-eater. Anyway, they insisted I come out with them to the Body Shop that night, the first strip club I had ever thought to visit.

It was delightful. This is Hollywood, and you meet a better class of strippers here. Courtney Love, for example, rose from the ranks of Jumbo's Clown Room to win a clutch bag full of Grammys; Diablo Cody is proud of her stripper past and alluded to it when she accepted the Best Screenplay Oscar for JUNO. While I don't recall meeting any such luminaries that night, I did get to chat with all the strippers and they were all intelligent career women. Some had just been offered $500 for sex with a visiting Arab oil magnate, but they just laughed that one off. The line between showbiz and the world's oldest profession seems a little sharper at the Body Shop than most strip clubs.

It struck me then and still does today that these places are kind of theme parks for adults. Just as a roller coaster simulates the experience of plunging to your death with no real danger involved, a lap dance simulates the experience of adultery. I don't know if most wives would agree with me on this one, but ladies, you must know that it's the lesser of two evils. An expensive alternative to be sure, but less so than a hotel room across town.

Debra got out of the business a few years later, breaking up with Steve and marrying a more stable guy in the construction business, but I think of her often. She's the hottest naked chick I've ever called friend. As for the Body Shop, I assume it will rise from this obvious arson accidental fire stronger, better and with a real brass pole instead of chrome. Then again, brass tarnishes with too much skin contact. Screw that. I think I'll stop off at Xposed on the ride home for a drink. I'm single now. It's cool.

1 comment:

Publius said...

Can you spot the misused words in the following?

Another Cultural Landmark Threatened

This Body Shop is the strip club on Sunset near the House Of Blues.

Let me help, there are four that do not follow...

The first two are: Cultural Landmark

The second two are: strip club

Not compatible at all!

My middle school was razed and a strip mall was put in its place. I lost a personal "landmark" because of that, so I do understand your feeling of loss, I must say.