What? WHAT? Part 25

First of all, let me remind everybody that this isn't a racism issue, and there's no racism involved, and that the Tea Party isn't racist, and there isn't even a Tea Party and if you think any of this is racist, then you're a racist.

The Weekly has obtained a copy of an email sent to fellow conservatives this week by Marilyn Davenport, a Southern California Tea Party activist and member of the central committee of the Orange County Republican Party.

Under the words, "Now you know why no birth certificate," there's an Obama family portrait showing them as apes.

That was published last Friday. Then:

UPDATE, APRIL 16, 5:55 P.M.: This afternoon, Marilyn Davenport sent an email to fellow Orange County Republican elected officials, apologizing if anyone was offended by her depicting President Barack Obama as an ape--while also blasting the "liberal media" for reporting the story.
"I simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth," Davenport wrote. "In no way did I even consider the fact he's half black when I sent out the email. In fact, the thought never entered my mind until one or two other people [Scott Baugh, Orange County GOP boss, and this writer] tried to make this about race. . . . I received plenty of emails about George Bush that I didn't particularly like yet there was no 'cry' in the media about them."

Davenport continued: "That being said, I will NOT resign my central committee position over this matter that the average person knows and agrees is much to do about nothing."

Right! No one called it racist when W. was depicted as a Chimp! There's your double standard! How DARE you try to make this harmless joke about RACE!

Still, it's kind of a PR problem - you know, because people keep wrongly accusing the tea party of hating ALL black people when they really only hate the one black person. And not because he's black. No, they hate him because he hasn't lowered taxes, and there's no proof whatsoever that he was born in the United States, and he refuses to compromise on the slightest thing, and he's a Muslim.

And the Muslim thing, THAT'S NOT INTOLERANCE! They're just saying.

Oh, and his black wife. They hate her too. But most of the blacks, they're just fine with. Micheal Steele, for example... okay, him too, but that's because those people can't run things. What? WHAT?

Anyway, because of the PR imbroglio, there have been suggestions that maybe it would be better if Marilyn Davenport wasn't in a leadership position. Sadly, it's easier said than done.

UPDATE, APRIL 17, 3:40 P.M.: Orange County Republican Party Chairman Scott Baugh determined today that his group's bylaws prevent a vote to remove Marilyn Davenport as an elected member even though she emailed a racist image of President Barack Obama to fellow Tea Baggers and Republicans.

The most drastic action the party can take is a censure, he said. Meanwhile, Davenport refuses to resign and Baugh continues to seek an apology and her voluntary resignation from the central committee.

I can see her point - she refuses to admit she's racist, she refuses to relinquish power despite the fact that she represents a tiny sliver of her constituency - she is, in fact the archetype for Tea Baggers.

Those Democrats Finally Shut Up

Daypart Phenomenon

This weekend SNL put out this very effective takedown of Fox And Friends, the Fox News morning show. And while I buy the premise, which is that the hosts are clueless and the show plays to the lowest common denominator, you can't say this is a thing limited to Fox. I am struggling to find evidence of a morning news show on radio or television that isn't pitched at a 5th grade level.

All Things Considered! Okay, that was easier than I thought. Now try to come up with two.

I am aware of the SNL parody because I heard an excerpt of it on the Stephanie Miller Show, which they will freely admit is as stupid as it comes. If you want less biased stupidy in the Los Angeles Area, there's always KTLA (Tribune) or KTTV (Fox) in addition to the networks. But the factor they all have in common is the viewer is assumed to be an idiot. And don't get me started on Morning Zoo radio programs, which strain to find enough offensive material to fill 3 hours five days a week.

What is it about the morning that makes media people assume we'll be unable to take mature evening-news-type news? It's a serious question. I assume that the ratings are high for these shows, so obviously we're all eating it up, but why? Why only the morning?

Quote Of The Day

Well, I don’t know if we’re checkmating. But we’re trying — we’re trying to score a victory for the Republican people, for — for the American — for the Republican people — trying to score a victory for the American people, not for the Republican Party. That victory is going to come in stages here.

-Mike Pence, R-IN, On Greta Van Sustern's show. Fight it Mike! Use your inside voice!

Deregulate Oil, Regulate Miscegenation

Hey, been to Mississippi lately? Not me! I can't afford the gasoline! But people are there, and Public Policy Polling asked the Republicans among them a few questions. First question, not so embarassing:

Mississippi Republicans want Haley Barbour to be their nominee for President next year, and he's doing far better in his home state than most of the other Republicans looking at the race are doing in theirs. 37% say Barbour is their first choice, followed by 19% for Mike Huckabee, 10% for Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin, 6% for Mitt Romney, 5% for Michele Bachmann, 3% for Tim Pawlenty, and 2% for Ron Paul.

The only Republican we've found doing better in their home state so far is Romney, who 47% of Massachusetts GOP voters want as their nominee.

Okay, that's all kind of predictable. (By the way Romney in Massachusetts? Somebody likes their state-run health care plan!)
But here's the real reason I'm linking to this:

We asked voters on this poll whether they think interracial marriage should be legal or illegal- 46% of Mississippi Republicans said it should be illegal to just 40% who think it should be legal. For the most part there aren't any huge divides in how voters view the candidates or who they support for the nomination based on their attitudes about interracial marriage but there are a few exceptions.

Palin's net favorability with folks who think interracial marriage should be illegal (+55 at 74/19) is 17 points higher than it is with folks who think interracial marriage should be legal (+38 at 64/26.) Meanwhile Romney's favorability numbers see the opposite trend. He's at +23 (53/30) with voters who think interracial marriage should be legal but 19 points worse at +4 (44/40) with those who think it should be illegal. Tells you something about the kinds of folks who like each of those candidates.

I'd be fascinated to see either candidate weigh in on this one! But of course, they're not obligated to and only Sharon Angle would be crazy enough to address the question. Fortunately, she's thinking of running.

My Weirdest Purchase Lately

It's a muscle stimulator! I was in the mall over the weekend and this kiosk guy tried to talk me into buying one for $100 bucks. I thought it was cool but figured I could do better online. And yes, I did. $40, thanks for asking.

If you ever saw the Bruce Lee biopic Dragon, Lee was a devotee of such machines, though at the time they were tabletop-sized and now you can clip them on your belt. You glue electrodes to your skin over muscle groups and then electric shocks are sent to the muscles, forcing them to contract. It's just like that experiment in high school where you jolted a frog's leg and made it jerk around. No they didn't make me do it in my high school but I heard stories.

I'm using it now on my pecs and man, it's strange. My moobs are dancin'! I've also got a couple on my abs, but that's barely registering. Either I don't have them near enough to the muscles or more likely, they layers of fat are keeping the electricity from getting through.

I think probably what this will be really useful for, as far as I'm concerned, is that nagging middle-back pain that I have. A few months ago I was plagued by lower back pain, and I remembered that a cure for that is ab exercises. Sure enough, I stregnthend those muscles with daily sit-ups and the pain hasn't bothered me. Then I had shoulder pain and since I stared doing pushups, I feel great. But I don't know a good middle back (lats, right?) exercise. Besides I'm essentially lazy. I'd rather a 9-volt battery did my exercise for me while I blog. Is that so wrong? Hopefully I can find a gadget online to answer that.

Scott Walker Attempts to Re-Define "Majority"

Gov. Scott Walker said this afternoon that the spring election results show there are "two very different worlds in this state."

"You've got a world driven by Madison, and a world driven by everybody else out across the majority of the rest of the state of Wisconsin," Walker said at a press conference in the Capitol.

Yeah, that's the problem - the people in the big city are bossing around the rest of the state, which is the majority. Just because there are more of one kind of people, doesn't mean they are superior in number to another kind!

By the way, for the record - I Walk With Stander.

Just Because I'm An Atheist, Don't Mean I Don't Like SFX

This is pretty well-produced! I'm thinking of pretending to pray on Cinco De Mayo now, just because I want to control the weather too.

Don't Trust the New York Post

NY Post:

The after-party for "Saturday Night Live" early yesterday morning at Primehouse glittered with host Elton John's colorful friends. "SNL" alum Steve Martin jumped on a banquette to roast the host in song, a spy said. John quickly jumped up to join him in front of guests including John's partner, David Furnish, Lorne Michaels and most of the "SNL" cast.

Steve Martin's Twitter Account:

Lorne, trusting wife and I agree, where were we when this happened? Could it be they MADE THIS UP? Nah.

It's only entertainment coverage. An august journal like the New York Post would surely source all its other news much more thoroughly.

Don't Worry, He's Only A STATE Senator

He Knows Your Mind

Marietta Georgia Republican Rep Bobby Franklin: Here's his information page, complete with home number.

And here is the answering machine message on his home phone:

This is State Representative Bobby Franklin. Thank you for calling to give me encouragement about my sponsorship of House Bill 1, recognizing that pre-natal murder is murder. I'm not able to take that encouragement right now, so at the tone please leave your name, number, and a message.

You probably want to encourage him to keep up the good work on this bill:

Georgia State Rep. Bobby Franklin—who last year proposed making rape and domestic violence "victims" into "accusers"—has introduced a 10-page bill that would criminalize miscarriages and make abortion in Georgia completely illegal. Both miscarriages and abortions would be potentially punishable by death: any "prenatal murder" in the words of the bill, including "human involvement" in a miscarriage, would be a felony and carry a penalty of life in prison or death.

May I suggest, ladies, that you leave Bobby an encouraging message? In your own words now.

"I Lied To You, But Now I'm Totally Telling the Truth"

Speaking in 2009 onboard a pricey Mediterranean cruise sponsored by a right-wing college, Fox Washington managing editor Bill Sammon described his attempts the previous year to link Obama to "socialism" as "mischievous speculation." Sammon, who is also a Fox News vice president, acknowledged that "privately" he had believed that the socialism allegation was "rather far-fetched."

"Last year, candidate Barack Obama stood on a sidewalk in Toledo, Ohio, and first let it slip to Joe the Plumber that he wanted to quote, 'spread the wealth around,' " said Sammon. "At that time, I have to admit, that I went on TV on Fox News and publicly engaged in what I guess was some rather mischievous speculation about whether Barack Obama really advocated socialism, a premise that privately I found rather far-fetched."

Yes I'm getting this from Media Matters, which also thoughtfully publishes the complete context from which the quote took place. Further excerpt:

"Now imagine my surprise when this year, I witness President Barack Obama standing in the cross hall of the White House and having taken over the American car industry, look into the camera, and announce to the nation essentially, that he would personally vouch for the warranty on your car's muffler. All of a sudden, the debate over whether America was heading for socialism seemed anything but far-fetched. In fact, when you consider the massive expenditures of your tax dollars on such programs as TARP, and stimulus, and in fairness, our pres -- our former president George W. Bush had his own stimulus package towards the end of his administration -- nobody remembers that -- and he also spent the first half of the TARP money."

So see! He IS a socialist! Just like I said before but didn't believe! But now I do! He's just like Bush! No, I mean, Bush isn't but Obama is! It's odd how no one remembers that Bush spent the first half of the TARP money, isn't it? If only some fair and balanced source could bring that up.

This would be a good reason to shrug off most of the obviously crazy Fox rhetoric (hiya birthers!) but the problem is I've argued with people who seem to believe whatever is being said on Fox, even if they were saying the opposite 4 months ago. "What do you mean? The economy didn't go bad until Obama was sworn in!" "Obama raised my taxes!" and so on. TV has tremendous hypnosis value. I don't get any news from it, myself. I don't even watch speeches nowadays. I haven't seen more than 30 seconds of a presidential speech since the inauguration. If you're interested in thinking for yourself, you should try it.

Trump Is THE OTHER

How anyone can look at Donald Trump and assume he's one of them (anyone anywhere) is beyond me, but that's his story. He recently made headlines by questioning the legitimacy of President Obama's birth, and to drive home the point, he provided his own birth certificate to journalistic powerhouse Newsmax.

“It took me one hour to get my birth certificate. It’s inconceivable that, after four years of questioning, the president still hasn’t produced his birth certificate. I’m just asking President Obama to show the public his birth certificate. Why’s he making an issue out of this?"

Trump was skeptical that so few people have stepped forward to verify Obama's birth.

"I went to the best college and I was a great student, and it is inconceivable to my brain that no doctor, no nurse, nobody has stepped forward to verify the birth, other than the governor. He remembers? The governor? A birth 50 years ago? Come on. He’s taking a bullet for his party."

He said other presidents have produced these documents without any hesitation.

Trump added that the local newspaper ad announcing Obama’s birth also strikes him as odd.

“Someone takes an ad out in the paper announcing his birth days later? How many people do you know who take an ad out in the paper to announce a birth, and then won’t show anyone the birth certificate?”

The document released to Newsmax is below. It shows that Trump was born in New York, June 14, 1946.

Trump has been the latest voice to call for President Obama to release his birth certificate, a source of controversy to some Americans who remain unconvinced that Obama was born in the United States. The president has released a "Certificate of Live Birth" showing he was born in Hawaii, but a more detailed birth certificate has not been made public.

Newsmax, uncharacteristically, failed to catch one little detail.

The paper that Trump released says "Jamaica Hospital" on top and lists the date and time of what he says was his birth to "Mr. and Mrs. Fred C. Trump." The piece of paper has a seal at the bottom.

But after several New York City-based readers contacted POLITICO's Maggie Haberman, her call to city officials revealed that an actual birth certificate, which is issued by the Department of Health, would have the agency's seal and also a signature of the city registrar - neither of which the Trump document has. Officials said the city Health Department is the "sole issuing authority" of official birth certificates in New York, and that the document would clearly say so, and "city officials said it's not an official document."

It appears instead to be a hospital "certificate of birth," meaning the piece of paper the hospital gave to his family saying he was born. Such a document typically has the signature of the hospital administrator and the attending physician.

Trump lawyer and advisor Michael Cohen didn't respond to Haberman's question about the document.

Trump's mother, it should be noted, was born in Scotland, which is not part of the United States. His plane is registered in the Bahamas, also a foreign country. This fact pattern -- along with the wave of new questions surrounding what he claims is a birth certificate -- raises serious doubts about his eligibility to serve as President of the United States.

By the way, did you know that John McCain was born in Panama? True story!

We Can't AFFORD An Eye And A Tooth

California is in the middle of a budget crisis so bad, we re-elected Jerry Brown as governor. Among his plans to solve it is allowing people to vote on whether they'll accept a tax increase, though the Republicans are blocking that one.

The Republicans won't allow people to decide for themselves. Now THAT'S what our founding fathers wanted!

Anyway, something that isn't on the table yet but also surely would be blocked - abolishing the death penalty. The case was made yesterday in an Op-Ed at the L.A. Times by Donald A. McCartin, who was also known as "The Hanging Judge" of Orange County. McCartin's point is that people sentenced to death are rarely executed because the appeals process capital cases is byzantine and endless (he sentenced 10 people to death, none have been executed) and this appeals process is incredibly costly compared to simply imprisoning someone to life without parole. Which these inmates are serving, because they'll never be executed. So that's essentially $125 million a year saved, starting today if we abolish the death penalty in California.

So biblical imperative aside, sounds like a pretty easy fix to me. Anybody want to take the Hanging Judge up on it?

Alas Poor Newt

An illustration of why I hope Obama isn't making decisions to placate the right. Once he agrees with them, they're willing to abandon their beliefs so they can still bad-mouth him. They're not consistant on anything else but they are consistant on that.

There Are Followers

People really love sarcasm.

-- Andy Kindler, about 10 hours ago on his Twitter feed.

I have taken to Twitter in a big way, to the point where I rely on it for news bulletins. What's trending? Who's dead now? Sweet Jesus, what's Rebecca Black still doing on this list? But this is not what really attracts me; it's the challenge of compressing a thought into 140 characters. Some are easy, almost none are impossible. Here's one I put out there yesterday.

If Sarah Palin doesn't get into the race soon, I'm going to have to support Bachmann!

The idea behind the tweet was that I'm hoping one of these two women wins the Republican primary because they are supported by a slim segment of their own party, let alone by the Independents and Democrats. Either one would be a losing presidential candidate! That was the point of the tweet. From yesterday. In context it would be pretty obvious that neither woman would be my choice for president.

One of the other things I love about Twitter is that you get instant metrics. People can subscribe to your feed, and you know who those people are. Currently I have 72 followers, which is an okay number for a non-celebrity. But I picked up four of them since that tweet: Campagnone4Palin12, Sandy4FarRight, Winfield4Palin1 and weirdly, eroshypnosis, which appears to be an account for an Erotic Hypnosis concern. I can't recall what might have attracted them to my account unless I did it during that 45 minutes yesterday when I just can't remember anything. And why do I have bruises around my nipples?

Anyway, the first 3 are pretty similar - no custom icon, no tweets, a 4 in the name. Assuming they are unironic in nature, I can expect them to drop off by the end of the day. UNLESS they are unironic bots. Maybe these accounts are spiders, searching the web for positive Palin references and rewarding them with followers. I'm going to post Palin sucks! to my account right after I post this and see what happens.

Less Regulation, Less Government

Judging by Newt Gingrich's behavior, this is exactly what the Republican Revolution is about.

Police say they've seen numerous illicit massage parlors open in Hollywood, Koreatown and the San Fernando Valley. But the biggest explosion has been in Eagle Rock, which is a community that was also inundated with medical marijuana dispensaries.

"You can drive down the street and see one on every block," said Michael Larsen, the president of the Eagle Rock Neighborhood Council. "Our community is being inundated with prostitution."

The problem is connected to a 2009 state law that created voluntary state certification for massage therapists. The intent was to make it easier for legitimate massage therapists to work anywhere in the state.

The law said therapists with state certification could no longer be subjected to stringent local vetting. In Los Angeles, for instance, where city code classifies all parlors as "adult entertainment," licensed therapists would no longer have to apply for police permits, which require fingerprinting and background checks.

Many cities — including Culver City, West Hollywood and Glendale — promptly began requiring those applying to open massage parlors to show their state certification.

But Los Angeles failed to do so, instead asking applicants only to state if they were certified, not to show proof, according to Officer William Jones, who is in charge of the Los Angeles Police Commission's permit processing section.

As a result, it became an easy place for erotic massage parlors to set up shop.

Ahmos Netanel, who heads the California Massage Therapy Council, a nonprofit set up by the state in the massage certification bill, said L.A. should rewrite its code.

"My understanding is that the city has basically stopped regulating," Netanel said. "We have shared with them that this is unusual."

This is great! California is finally shrinking government, exactly the way that the Tea Party wants! Next up, a relaxation of those darn crack statutes. They're slowin' me down, man.

THIS IS THE LOWEST THE BAR HAS EVER BEEN!!!!!!11!!!!

Today is the first anniversary of the greatest single assault on our freedom in my lifetime: the signing of ObamaCare.

-- Ron Johnson's lead in his editorial for the Wall Street Journal.

All this time I thought it was the light bulbs! What about suggesting that Sarah Palin's speech might have inspired crazy people to do violent things? That's not a big deal any more?

Johnson goes on to talk about his daughter's medical problems, which he must have gladly paid for out of his own pocket and is now furious that he will be forced to buy insurance instead. Or he was thinking of cutting his daughter off and now cannot. And he wanted insurance companies to have the option of refusing coverage to her! That's their RIGHT! No wonder he's so upset!

Alas Poor Knut

We shall not see his adorable teutonic like again.

I'm Not Pleased About Libya

Humanitarian crisis notwithstanding, invading a country with weapons to prevent the death of civilians is absurd. It's roughly as absurd as the recipient of a Nobel Peace Prize to spearhead invasions in two countries in as many years.

And I might as well admit it - if there's a credible alternative to Obama in 2012 I'll vote for him/her. Even if they call themselves Republican. The trick is that the candidate has to be less Republican than Obama.

No, this isn't a novel position.

Further Reminders to Worry About Something Else Instead

A diplomat who has access to radiation tracking by the U.N.'s Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty Organization told The Associated Press in Vienna that initial readings show tiny amounts of radiation have reached California. But it's not dangerous in any way — "about a billion times beneath levels that would be health threatening," the diplomat said, speaking on condition of anonymity because the organization does not make its findings public.

U.S. government experts also insist there's no threat to public health from the plume, but they are still closely monitoring the situation with detection monitors deployed along the West Coast.

So again, I'm not worried that there is radioactive mist mixed in with the clouds above my head. What worries me is the giant concrete breasts in the background of this picture:

The BACKGROUND, I said!

It's the San Onofre Nuclear Power plant, just 95 miles southeast of where I'm sitting. It's 40 years old and rated to withstand a 7.0 quake. Which is great because anything over that never happens! Except recently, in Japan. There is also said to be a seawall around SO which will protect for up to 18 feet of water, which never happens except for the 25 foot tsunami which happened recently in Japan. See what I'm saying?

I read in Wired that someone is developing a power generating system that gets it's power by the contract between very cold seawater at the ocean floor and the much warmer water at the surface. This is like nuclear power because it uses seawater - but unlike it, there's no danger of rendering a huge part of the Earth's surface uninhabitable for ten thousand years. Worth throwing a little money at, this idea.

The Amazing Colossal Blogger

See that? According to the New York Times, that's the plume of radioactive steam that will be over my head tomorrow just after midnight. After that according to my favorite movies I'll either grow to over 50 feet tall or, if it's a radioactive mist I could shrink to the size of atoms. If I'm not personally affected I could still have to contend with assorted giant insects.

Actually even the Times points out that "Health and nuclear experts emphasize that any plume will be diluted as it travels and, at worst, would have extremely minor health consequences in the United States." Unless they're lying to forstall panic. Which they always do. The thing that worries me is that radiation is linked to cancer, which won't show up for maybe 30 years. On the other hand, in 30 years maybe they'll cure cancer. I hope so because there will be virtually no way to prove that MY cancer is the result of this radiation, therefore I would have to pay for it myself.

Anyway, worrying won't stop the cloud. The usefulness of worrying is that it makes you wonder just how cheap Nuclear power REALLY is.  It doesn't even burn clean, when you consider how long you have to hold on to the waste. If anything, coal is CLEANER than nukes. And it's not that much more plentiful than fossil fuels; so why the headlong drive for more plants? Enough! Put the solar panels back up on the White House willya?

Because Tsunamis Don't Cost A Thing

Well okay, they cost plenty. But knowing they're coming doesn't save any money now, does it? Aside from life insurance money.

Palin/Angle - My Dream Ticket

Come on, let's get these two little ladies on 2012 ticket! If the primaries are good for anything, they're good for that!

Never Give Up Sarah!

Don't worry about the numbers, Mrs. Palin - keep out of the public eye and by primary time they can creep up again!

Still one of the biggest wild cards of the 2012 field, Sarah Palin has offered little in the way of clues about her 2012 presidential ambitions over the past few months. But voters are providing some hints of their own, and the news is not particularly good for the former Alaska governor.

According to fresh numbers from a new ABC News/Washington Post poll, Palin’s favorability rating among members of her own party has fallen to a new low. Not only that, but negative views of Palin are much higher than those of other possible Republican presidential candidates.

These numbers are just like the "data" that say there is global warming or that Americans have a problem with obesity. No such thing! Still, you'll notice that Palins numbers were highest when she first appeared on the scene. It's only once she started expressing her opinions that the majority of Americans turned against her. So keep it on the DL, Sarah. Give up that Fox News money for a while.

It's Pi Day!

You see, the date is 3/14, or the first three digits of Pi. If three aren't enough for you...

Anyway I'd to dedicate this day to Glenn Beck, who is both irrational and continues indefinitely.

I'm Applying For A Waiver to Godwin's Law.

Can't I even mention that being for eugenics is something that Hitler was also? If not let me put it this way: I'm not for eugenics. Only certain kinds of people are, and those people are wrong. Wrong in a fascist german dictator kind of way.

An Admission Of Failure

When I was kicked off Where Are My Keys a couple of months back for being too offensive in criticizing the right's use of free speech (makes a good story, don't it?) I promised I'd keep reading anyway. The truth is, I'm not. It's not that I find it more offensive or less, it's just that reading stuff that I completely disagree with is no fun if I can't respond to it. I check in about once a week, boil up my blood a little, and then move on to Wonkette.

So keep up the good work over there boys, and sorry I can't join you more often.

Disaster Is Laughing At You

Here's the deal about life. No matter what you do, no matter how careful you are, you can be killed in a huge natural disaster or a terrorist attack. Or crime or random craziness. Just know this. Therefore don't count on being around next year - if you want to tell someone you love them or do some good in the world, do it now.

Similarly you might have a bucket list of crazy stunts and/or crimes that you have been putting off. If you envision yourself on your deathbed (or death elevator or seafront property) regretting not having done this crazy thing, you should do it now.

Karma: light and flavorful

On the other hand, you might only have a handful of nice/stupid things you want to clear off the list. What if in the next month you manage to commit all the crimes, do all the skydiving, thank all the loved ones that you have? After that, statistically, you'll probably live another bunch of decades with NOTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE LEFT TO DO. You'll find yourself counting off the days, waiting for a death that seems to never come. Or worse, maybe you believe in an afterlife in which you are punished for the sins that you got away with on Earth. That afterlife will hang over your head like the Sword of Damocles for all your living days.

Don't even get me started with the concept of Karma.

What's a person to do? My suggestion is that the Earthquake in Japan is best treated the same way you should treat all news - ignore it and just life you life the way you already were.

Hatching a Weatherman

I'm scooping Harry Shearer! An occasional feature on his Le Show radio program is the reading of especially egregious corrections to newspaper articles, usually from the LA Times. Well, I just sent this one to him. It concerns an article about Mark Kriski, KTLA weatherman who was missing from the airwaves last month due to a prolonged bout with pneumonia. Here are the corrections, one after the other.

[Corrected at 3:15 p.m.: A previous version of this post incorrectly stated that Kriski had been incubated for four days, rather than intubated.]

[Corrected at 3:34 p.m : A previous version of this post incorrected stated that Kriski was intubated for four days, instead of two weeks.}

Bonus points for the curly bracket, rather than square bracket, that ends the second correction!

Obama Is A Bully

Here's why the rest of the world thinks the American right is delusional:

http://mediamatters.org/iphone/research/201103100024

A bully? How? What did he force you to do?

Sent from my iPhone

An Angle On The Sheen Story I'm Comfortable With

I didn't want to go near this story when it was about an actor's meltdown. It's like someone asked me today, "did you see that video where Charlie Sheen...(whatever he did THIS time) and I said no, I don't watch Charlie Sheen videos. I let other people tell me about them. It's quicker. If I though Charlie Sheen was actually melting down, I'd just ignore him. But here's what I think Charlie Sheen IS doing.

In the first move of what could be a long legal battle, Charlie Sheen has sued Warner Bros. and "Two and a Half Men" co-creator Chuck Lorre for $100 million plus punitive damages over his termination on the hit television show.

Mr. Sheen's lawyer, Hollywood firebrand Marty Singer, filed the lawsuit on Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court.

A spokesman for Warner Bros., a unit of Time Warner Inc., declined to comment.

In the suit, Mr. Sheen alleges that Mr. Lorre decided to fire the actor because he wanted to work on other television shows and before Mr. Sheen's public antics.

Citing his recent behavior, Warner Bros. on Monday terminated Mr. Sheen's contract, which according to people familiar with the matter pays him about $2 million an episode, including his share of "back-end" profit like syndication. But in the suit, Mr. Sheen also alleges that the studio's firing of the actor, even for those circumstances, would be in violation of California law.

The suit also states that Mr. Sheen is pursuing claims "for the benefit of the entire cast and crew to get paid for the balance of the season's 24 episodes."

Yes I know, suing a company for $100 million is entirely constistant with the insane behavior that Sheen has been exhibiting. But go with me on this. Say you're making a huge amount of money on a show, and you want out because you're tired of it, but the last time you tried to leave they just offered you a little more money? Why not burn your bridges this time and get a huge windfall besides?

I'm not saying Sheen isn't on drugs. Of course he is. But this whole public breakdown has the look of strategy in it to me. This is why I whenever I see Sheen (or have his antics described to me) I hear that Alec Baldwin line in my head. To recap, it's from Malice, in which Baldwin plays a surgeon on trial for malpractice and on the witness stand he says "You say I have a God complex? Let me tell you something. I am God." In the movie, the malpractice suit is part of a long con.

Same thing people! And duh - winning!

(h/t Hang A Lantern On It, where I posted this first)

Speaking of Free Speech

Here are some things that have just been disallowed on the people's property (i.e. the Captiol building)in Wisconsin:

— No signs or public displays, reading of books or newspapers, tobacco products, or food and beverages.

— Cell phones and pagers must be turned off, no photography (video or still) or sound recordings allowed.

— No backpacks or large bags.

— Eating, drinking, smoking, talking, use of mobile phones, laptop computers, video cameras, still cameras, newspapers, bags, briefcases, signs, posters, placards, or hats.

— There will be no leaning over railings or sitting in the aisles.

— Any outbursts, such as clapping, cheering, jeering or stomping.

Security screeners won't allow the following items into the Capitol:

— Animals (except service animals), balloons, coolers, crockpots and other cooking appliances, easels, extension cords, large bags, boxes, or storage containers for food or other items.

— Massage chairs/beds, mattresses, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, musical instruments, noisemakers (air horns, buckets, drumsticks, trash can lids, vuvuzelas), portable PA systems, signs or flags on sticks.

— Tables, chairs, furniture, tape (masking, painter's, duct, transparent, etc.)

— Other items that may be considered "inconsistent" with trying to get the building emptied at closing, or whose use could be a threat to public health or safety.

Why? Because Republicans don't want to see another disgraceful scene like this.

These Stings Are Getting Confusing

I'm tempted to just link to this story rather than try to explain it but that's lazy blogging. Which I suppose is the only kind! However, to attempt to summarize:

James O'Keefe set up a fun NPR sting, making up a radical Islam organization and sending comical muslims to offer funding to NPR. As a result NPR has fired one Schiller and the Schiller in charge of that guy resigned. I'm not talking about this because, while I'm enraged that people are losing their jobs because of what they think (not even what they say in public) it's their choice to do so in the name of maintaining journalistic objectivity. Good goin' Schillers!

But talking about lazy bloggers, look at this collateral damage! O'Keefe set up a website for the phony organization and the phony mission statement enraged Pamela (Atlas Shrugs) Geller so much that she expressed a desire to destory the Earth! Quote from phony website in italics, quote from real pundit not so.

Islam in America is at a crossroads. One path is continued confusion, hatred, intolerance and discrimination, and the other is the truth and beauty of the Quran. America has been struggling with which road to choose primarily because it does not know or understand the beauty of our holy teachings.

In other words, if you do not accept living under the most radical, extreme ideology on the earth, Islamic (sharia) law, than you are filled with "confusion, hatred, intolerance and discrimination."

...MEAC continues to bring religious education and truth to students across the country and to serve the growing Islamic schools and university departments with resources, support and guidance. We also assist educational institutions in lobbying state and national government for the autonomy and resources necessary for effective teaching of Islam.

MEAC is a servant of Islam, and may peace be upon us all.

I'd rather blow up the world (my emphasis) than live as a slave. As for Bin Talal, we have to stop financing our executioners. Enough dollars for jihad. We need to throw the left-enemy out of power and start drilling and mining our own resources. We must throw off the shackles that the enemy within has enslaved us with.

Now see what I mean? The phony Islam rhetoric sounds reads about 30 times less crazy than the right-wing response. The "left-enemy?" Throw off the shackles? I hope Geller doesn't resign over this, because I want her out where we can keep an eye on her.

**Bonus quote, which Scott Walker will probably agree with:

We're all on notice now. Keep your eyes open and your ears cocked. Public life is becoming a maze of entrapments, and the press is enabling the deceit.

-Scott Rosenberg, Salon

Spinnin' Like a Gyroscope

Here is the article, in its entirety.

The man who was arrested for a bomb scare Wednesday at Heartland Aviation has been released on a $3,000 signature bond.

Patrick J. Knauf, 43, of Eau Claire was arrested for the violation of making a bomb scare under state statute 947.015.

The threat was made after 5 p.m. Wednesday, just hours after Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker made a brief appearance at Heartland.

The building was sealed off, and a thorough search by the Eau Claire Police Department and the Eau Claire Fire Department was made. No bomb was located, and Heartland Aviation has resumed normal operation.

The police department says this appears to be an isolated incident, and there is no additional threat to the public.

Heartland Aviation sits adjacent to Chippewa Valley Regional Airport, located in the city of Eau Claire and the southernmost part of Chippewa County.

Investigation into the matter continues, and Knauf has yet to be formally charged. He is scheduled to return to court on April 19.

According to the Chippewa County district attorney’s office, Knauf participated in a public demonstration at the airport on Feb. 28 and/or March 2.

Gateway Pundit links to it. Note the headline:

BOMB THREAT At Scott Walker News Conference – Leftist Protester Arrested!



Far Left protester Patrick J. Knauf, 43, of Eau Claire was arrested on Wednesday for the violation of making a bomb scare under state statute 947.015. (...excerpts from the article, then)
 
Amazing!



A bomb threat was called in on a Walker rally and the media doesn’t report on it?


Unbelievable.

Again, let's assume this is satire rather than an actual attempt to report the facts. Because according to the article:

1) the bomb threat was called in "hours after" the governer made a brief appearance;

2) there is no indication of Knauf's political leanings in the article

3) there's not even evidence that it was a protest.

Besides, Gateway Pundit calls the Walker appearance a News Conference in the headline and a Rally in the body of the article, suggesting they don't really know what he was there for. Maybe he made an appearance to pick up dry cleaning. Just kidding, the Pierce County Herald calls it a news conference.

None of this stopped Breitbart from picking the story up, verbatim, from Gateway Pundit. It's not Breitbart's job to deliver accurate news! He's not a journalist, he's more a collagist, cutting and pasting whatever shiny thing fits best into the frame.

Republicans Are Against Your Girlfriend Putting Out For You

Quick riddle - what's the difference between Mike Huckabee and Dan Quayle? Huckabee criticized an unwed mother who exists in real life.

...of the things that's troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts of, 'Hey look, you know, we're having children, we're not married, but we're having these children, and they're doing just fine.' But there aren't really a lot of single moms out there who are making millions of dollars every year for being in a movie. And I think it gives a distorted image that yes, not everybody hires nannies, and caretakers, and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that's the story that we're not seeing, and it's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out of children wedlock.

Thank God there isn't also a problem with unwed fathers!

Notable weasel wording here - there is absolutely nothing wrong with unmarried mothers as long as they can afford nannies. You go Bristol! It's odd that someone that practical doesn't support the right to abortion, because abortion is much less expensive than raising a child.

Also left unsaid but implied, we can solve all these problems if we simply cut the government assistance, which is a conspicuous plank in the Republican platform. Let 'em starve! Take away their health care! Chicks, VOTE REPUBLICAN!  You too, Mexicans. And all them gays out there. One day when you're rich, they'll leave you alone.

Turn, Turn Turn

I was wondering when the stewardship of the economy was going to change. From here on in, if unemployment spikes again (or fails to return to the 6-7% range, we can blame Boehner! I hope it doesn't make him cry!

Union Thugs Spouting Violent Rhetoric

Oh my mistake. It's community organizers. Still, since all Muslims are terrorists, who can blame them for hating those women and children?

Put Your Unformed Hand On The Bible

I know it's a couple of months ago, but wasn't there talk during he last election about the need to get more Americans back to work? Then why is the Ohio legislative body devoting their time to this?



If that foetus isn't hiring, then they should be doing something else with their time in session.

Fox News Even Making Up News About Fox News

A couple of days ago, Mike Tobin at Fox News claimed that a union thug attacked him.



Poor Mike Tobin! He's a REPORTER and people don't respect him! People should ALWAYS respect the media! Especially the Main Stream Media, like Fox!

Anyway, you may have noticed that when he was "hit" the camera wasn't on him. God only knows how severe the blow was! Maybe it was a rock, maybe a two-by-four, maybe a meaty thuggish fist. Oh wait, a camera was on him.



Plus the day after, Tobin went on O'Reilly to do the less unbiased reporting (O'Reilly isn't a news show, it's an opinion show) and to illustrate it they showed footage of the violent union thugs in Wisconsin. Check out the shoving at 2:20!



While you're at it, check out the palm trees. In Wisconsin. In the dead of winter.

Remember, They're Only Kidding

Haha, good one!

...Under Rep. Franklin's bill, HB 1, women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was "no human involvement whatsoever in the causation" of their miscarriage. There is no clarification of what "human involvement" means, and this is hugely problematic as medical doctors do not know exactly what causes miscarriages. Miscarriages are estimated to terminate up to a quarter of all pregnancies and the Mayo Clinic says that "the actual number is probably much higher because many miscarriages occur so early in pregnancy that a woman doesn't even know she's pregnant. Most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn't developing normally."

This one probably falls under the self-parody category. "You think our opposition to abortion goes to far? Check THIS out! We'll jail a quarter of all women! (snort)"

Don't worry, they wouldn't have introuduced it if they thought it could become a law. Remember, they don't want to make laws. They want to make jokes!

Misjudging the Opposition

I spent a considerable amount of energy yesterday fighting a crazy talking point. Hat tip to Warner Todd Huston!

"Obama Misspells Libya on Twitter Feed "

This is not a major issue, but it got into my craw. Normally I have a voluminous craw but somehow this stuck noticably in it, among the rest of the stuff. I think I was just fed up with what I see as the whisper campaign of half-truths and out and out lies. The thing that bothered me about this is, obviously, Obama doesn't write the twitter feed. I wanted to stop this one before it spread like wild fire and a whole nation of Republicans carried around an image in their heads of a stupid drooling Obama, who can't run the country because he can't even spell Libya.

I tried to get Huston to admit that Obama doesn't write the twitter feed, I argued with his Facebook followers, I made a troll of myself. And for all the wrong reasons.

What they made me realize, withough actually dropping the facade, is that they are all in on the joke. Of course Obama doesn't write his own twitter feed. Of course he wasn't born in Kenya. Of course Democrats aren't just like the Nazis.

The RNC talking points that I so vigorously fight here are, for the most part, a bunch of inside jokes that they won't 'fess up to, because that kills the punchline.

If it was a mystery why all the leading minds in the party seem to be entertainers instead of politicians, there's your answer. They have given up on solving the nation's problems. Sure they think things might be slightly better if conservatives ran everything, but the first six years of Bush taught them that also leads to crashing disappointment.

Conservatives are bitter cynics now, who are so bereft of hope that even the laws they propose are for fun - sometimes a parody of Democrat laws, like the one that would require all South Dakotan's to carry guns the way that they all have to buy health insurance; sometimes self parody, like the one that would allow child labor. But the one thing they aren't bothering with, it appears, is crafting laws to make life better for constituents, because they believe they are powerless to do so.

So I guess what I learned from this episode yesterday is for a default position, assume that what a conservative is telling you is a joke. Just clap them on the back and say, "Good one!"

(PS, One of Warner's tweet's from today: Drudge hit my Obama misspells Libya story today:... http://fb.me/SXYi3d3p I love it when a joke goes viral! Good one!)

I Stand With Scott Walker So I Can Hold Up A Devil Horn Sign Behind His Head

I'm not as worked up about this as my liberal brethren are. It would be great if Walker had admitted to something illegal or at least deceptive (I was rooting for an admission of spiking the crowd with phony liberal plants) but he doesn't. He really doesn't share much in private than he would have in public, except for a few predictable strategy things.

As I said on my Twitter feed it's hardly a smoking gun; more like a lukewarm gun with fingerprints all over it.

Still, it's interesting to watch this play out. Walker took office last month and apparently this is his biggest priority, busting one of the state's unions. Not all of them (firefighters and police, who endorsed him, haven't gotten a bad word out of the man) and not necessarily working with the teachers to balance the budget, because they've agreed to a pay cut as long as they can retain collective bargaining rights.

It's not playing well for Walker, according to some sources. Probably because most Americans still support collective bargaining rights. But by God, Walker ain't gonna budge. Democracy isn't about compromise!

Well, technically it is. Leaders who don't compromise are generally referred to as "dictators" and its kind of been a bad year for those guys so far.

No, It's Never Too Soon

Guns are feeling really bad after that Giffords shooting. It wasn't their fault! Guns don't kill people, fans of people kill people! And that's why Arizona is taking the initiative to cheer guns up, with a little honorarium.

Sponsored by 43 of the 90 members of the Arizona legislature, the new bill seeks to make the Colt single-action Army revolver the "official state firearm" of Arizona. In January, lawmakers in Utah moved to make M1911 semi-automatic pistol the official gun of that state.

In a Facebook group advocating for all states to adopt official state guns, the administrator writes, "States have symbols such as flags, birds, dinosaurs, reptiles, insects, flowers, even cookware. None of these symbols would have become necessary without guns and the freedoms they helped our forefathers obtain."

Oh America and her necessary symbols!

That's so sweet! Buck up, guns! Maybe in a couple of years, another state will bestow this honor on a Glock 19!

Update to Warner Huston's Civility Posting - Not Warner Speaking This Time

MOVEON.ORG IS as bad as the Nazis!

Doug Hackett Both groups, MoveOn and the KKK base a argument on half truth, emotion (useually hate) and attempt to silence those who oppose thier ideology through intimidation and threats.

As a Historian, I understand what the impact is when a handful of extemists are out there preaching to the masses who are too busy living life to pay attention to what the real truth is. The old saying goes, say it often and long enough and it becomes a fact. It does not matter if MoveOn does not lynch people like the KKK, what they stand for could lead to such an offense happening. How many times have you seen signs with kill Bush or kill Rush at leftwing demonstrations. Right now you can turn on news of WI demonstration and the signs are packed with very hateful comments. If a this was a right wing demonstration, the mass news media would be running endless video and Joy Behar would be foaming at the mouth on the View.

Now you might say, I seriously doubht that MoveOn could incite violence, well, many siciologists have a hard time understanding how an entire nation would march 10 million people to the gas chambers. So my answer to you is, my argument is oppose all extremists whomever they are in whatever mask they wear because we have had enough lynching and Dachau's.

In Which Warner Todd Huston Calls Moveon.org Worse Than the KKK, and Complains About Incivility

Note: exchange is from Warner Todd Huston's Facebook page. Follow him today!

Daniel Krause Is Move On illegal? Is PBS thanking them for money?


Warner Todd Huston I didn't say it was illegal. Let me put it this way, would you be upset that PBS was thanking the KKK for it's support?

Daniel Krause Yes I would. So you are equating Moveon.org with the KKK?

Warner Todd Huston Why not. What's the major difference between them?

Daniel Krause Oh how I was hoping you'd respond that way.

"So, what’s the answer to all of this? Mostly just ignore the name calling."

So really, you're advising people to ignore you.

Daniel Krause BTW, Moveon.org doesn't have a history of lynching people. That's a major difference.

Warner Todd Huston How is that name calling?

Moveon wants America destroyed and remade into something it is not. They are an enemy just as much as the KKK. Description is NOT name calling.

Of course, I know how you'd love that to be the case. After all, that w...ould make discussing your hate-America groups unassailable because any description of their efforts would be made un-discussed.

But you re right. The KKK is hardly that big a deal. Hardly anyone belongs to it. Moveon is far more dangerous. It has millions of dollars and thousands of wild-eyed, anti-American members.

So, you are right. I should not have said the KKK is like Moveon. Clearly Moveon is worse.See More

Ken Suminski (I'd like to see him weigh in more, but nothing so far)  No they don't lynch people, but the level of hatred they inspire is equal.

Daniel Krause So your complaint is that Moveon.org says hateful things. Then I should ignore you AND moveon.org.

Warner Todd Huston Free country. Ignore who you like. Me, I'd be happy if leftists ignore all of politics.

Daniel Krause You still haven't said what Moveon.org has done wrong, in your opinion. If criticizing politicians is anti-american then YOU'RE as bad as Moveon. And therefore, as bad as the KKK.

Warner Todd Huston They want to eliminate America as it is and turn it into something it isn't and should not be. They want capitalism hampered, government grown, and American liberties shackled. They want the USA turned into a less powerful version of Europe....

As to your claim that I am as bad as the KKK, I have no doubt you think that way. So your saying so is not surprising.See More

Daniel Krause I don't think you're as bad as the KKK. You do. I think you're kinda charming.

Carving A Backward "B" In The Face of the Unions

Disappointed that the SEIU rallys aren't violent enough? Worried that the left isn't cooperating with your talking points? Stop complaining and take action!

Here is what I am doing in Sacramento, where they are holding a 5:30 PM event this coming Tuesday: (1) I signed up as an organizer (2) with any luck they will contact me and I will have an "in" (3) in or not I will be there and am asking as many other people as can get there to come with, all of us in SEIU shirts (those who don't have them we can possibly buy some from vendors likely to be there) (4) we are going to target the many TV cameras and reporters looking for comments from the members there (5) we will approach the cameras to make good pictures... signs under our shirts that say things like "screw the taxpayer!" and "you OWE me!" to be pulled out for the camera (timing is important because the signs will be taken away from us) (6) we will echo those slogans in angry sounding tones to the cameras and the reporters. (7) if I do get the 'in' I am going to do my darnedest to get podium access and take the mic to do that rant from there...with any luck and if I can manage the moments to build up to it, I can probably get a cheer out of the crowd for something extreme.

Since I have radio shows to host in Fresno tomorrow (KMJ FM and KMJ AM) I am going to try to gin up some support from down there and salt the crowd here with more people. Several Tea Party chapters around the country are planning to join with me, if you are a member of one in your area please contact them for details. If they are not participating get them to!

Take action and then pull the posting, because it's potentially embarassing. As long as no one knows that everything on the internet is cached, we'll get away with it!

*****UPDATE: IOWA, COLORADO, MASSACHUSETTS AND SEVERAL OTHER STATES HAVE CHECKED IN.... Tea Party Patriot groups and individuals are flooding me with emails vowing to participate and come up with their own creative ruses! Several have also reminded me that we have a distinct advantage in that the SEIU primarily represents non-English speaking illegal aliens so we will be the ones whose comments will make air!!!!*****

You gotta admire this guy. Most right wing radio hosts are content to just pass along the lies of their betters. This Tuesday, a serious attempt to gin up some fresh new lies! Atta boy, Mark Williams of KMJ! I'm looking forward to the unbiased and exhaustively verified coverage on Fox!

Something Else Fox News Is Making Up

Add this to the list.  Fox News reports on the hot "sexting" craze that all the kids are in on!

Here are a few of the more common sexting acronyms:

GYPO: Get Your Pants Off

IAYM: I Am Your Master

IWSN: I Want Sex Now

K4Y: Kiss For You

LMIRL: Let's Meet In Real Life

MOOS: Member Of The Opposite Sex

MOSS: Member(s) Of The Same Sex

NALOPKT: Not A Lot Of People Know That

S2R: Send To Receive

TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me

WIN: Want It Now

Do any of these look familiar to you? Me neither. Here's what happened when Gizmodo tried out a couple of 'em.

Oh well, could be worse. They could have reported about mexting.

They Were Kidding Then, NOW They're Serious

Or they're kidding now, and THEN they were serious.

Warner Todd Huston (Hi Warner! Hope your feeling better) is either terrified that the Winsconsin non-violent protests are about to get ugly, or he's satirizing the nationwide response to the Tea Party rallies. Look at these headlines!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG!!!!!!!!

These Hatemongers Are in Control of Our Children!

Violence Soaked Union Thug Flocks To Wisconsin

I especially like the 2nd one - his hate is so fearsome, it only takes a single one of him to constitute a flock!

Anyway, here is the kind of rhetoric which Warner has suddenly decided is "egregious":





Wasn't there a kind of effort to defend these particular rhetorical florishes a month ago? What's the difference? These people are protesting on behalf of TEACHERS, and therefore their signs aren't misspelled.

As for our flock, you have to drill down a few links to find out what terrible violent acts this guy is accused of committing.

A nonunion contractor who operated heavy equipment, York was shot to death during a strike called by the United Mine Workers 17 years ago. Workmates who tried to come to his rescue were beaten in an ensuing melee. The head of the UMW spearheading the wave of strikes at that time? Richard Trumka. Responding to concerns about violence, he shrugged to the Virginian-Pilot in September 1993: "I'm saying if you strike a match and you put your finger in it, you're likely to get burned." Incendiary rhetoric, anyone?

Yep, incendiary rhetoric is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, even from 17 years ago. No wonder they're talking about bringing in the National Guard!

I think WTH's point is not that these things are dangerous, it's that Liberals shouldn't have worried about it. But since he doesn't make it explicit, he's going to get a lot of readers (unlike me, Warner HAS a lot of readers) who take him at face value. And he's fine with that. And this is the same attitude that other leaders of the Republican Party (Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh) have. I don't care how you interpret me, as long as my numbers stay high. Thus this party which is always complaining about liberal entertainers shooting their mouths off about politics puts most of its trust in entertainers who have no other talent BUT politics.

DJs run the Republican platform. Unlike David Bowie's lyric though, they're interested neither in "humble pie (nor) bitter truth." In fact, just the opposite. I wonder if we could get Bowie to run?

The Big Tease

I was so exited to see this near where I work yesterday. A new breakfast place, just across the street!

Turns out they're a company that makes signs and banners, the bastards.

Put Down That Transformer, Break Time's Over

I have been wondering why the anti-regulation, pro-business types haven't tried this already.

SB 222 – This act modifies the child labor laws. It eliminates the prohibition on employment of children under age fourteen. Restrictions on the number of hours and restrictions on when a child may work during the day are also removed. It also repeals the requirement that a child ages fourteen or fifteen obtain a work certificate or work permit in order to be employed. Children under sixteen will also be allowed to work in any capacity in a motel, resort or hotel where sleeping accommodations are furnished. It also removes the authority of the director of the Division of Labor Standards to inspect employers who employ children and to require them to keep certain records for children they employ. It also repeals the presumption that the presence of a child in a workplace is evidence of employment.

What the Dickens?!

They're Tryin' to Kill Me Jimmy!

Stuart Margolin as Angel, just to shore up the quote in the title

I have had a rough week. Sunday night I noticed the hot water had vanished in my apartment. No hot water! Rescue forces have replaced the heater but it's still only gradually returning to normal. I only have lukewarm water.

Meanwhile I come home last night to discover that the nerve center of my life is also down. My DSL modem has failed! ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG !!

As it happens, I have backup systems - my iPhone, the computer at work, Starbucks. I guess I have access to hot showers too, because of the gym membership, but this internet thing is driving me nuts. It's not just my computer, you know. Though that's a problem (almost everything I do on the computer hooks into the cloud somehow, and what's worse my printer is connected via Wi-Fi so I can't print) the TV and BluRay player are also internet-enabled. For some reason, my TV has decided that it's an hour later than it was a couple days ago, because it's not getting its time from a server online.

And remember, without a constant supply of new material from blogs and internet radio, my source of home amusement is television. And I DON'T HAVE CABLE. Why would I, right? Television is different than the internet. If someone says something stupid on TV, you can't answer back to them. You can't save funny screen grabs and email them to your friends. Ads show up whether you click on them or not. And without cable, it's almost impossible to find porn. I think it's pretty obvious now that Mubarak sealed his own doom when he shut down the internet in Egypt.

Someone report this whole blog to this guy, willya? I can't.

Thank God Trader Joe's is still open so I can still get Organic Kona Whole Bean Coffee. I suppose my grinder will go down next!

Republicans, Joke That This Guy Should Be Killed

Because "Curveball" caused a few problems for you.

As US secretary of state, Colin Powell gathered his notes in front of the United Nations security council, the man watching — Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, known to the west's intelligence services as "Curveball" — had more than an inkling of what was to come. He was, after all, Powell's main source, a man his German handlers had feted as a new "Deep throat" — an agent so pivotal that he could bring down a government.

As Curveball watched Powell make the US case to invade Iraq, he was hiding an admission that he has not made until now: that nearly every word he had told his interrogators from Germany's secret service, the BND, was a lie.

Everything he had said about the inner workings of Saddam Hussein's biological weapons programme was a flight of fantasy - one that, he now claims was aimed at ousting the Iraqi dictator. Janabi, a chemical engineering graduate who had worked in the Iraqi industry, says he looked on in shock as Powell's presentation revealed that the Bush administration's hawkish decisionmakers had swallowed the lot. Something else left him even more amazed; until that point he had not met a US official, let alone been interviewed by one.

"I had the chance to fabricate something to topple the regime," he told the Guardian in a series of interviews carried out in his native Arabic and German. "I and my sons are proud of that, and we are proud that we were the reason to give Iraq the margin of democracy."

So at the time of writing this, an estimate of what this guy has cost Americans is $774 trillion dollars. For the current estimate, click here. That's just money. The cost in Americans themselves is around 5000 casualties. Iraqis have lost about 100k of their number.

And YOU, Republicans, were behind it all the way. It lost you the 2006 and 2008 elections and you're still hurting from it. Sure a lot of Democrats were for the Iraq war as well, but as far as I can see, it was ALL y'all. Plus you insisted on invading a country based on this one guy's story rather than trusting some second opinions. Hans Blix, for instance. So the point is, if anyone is interested in revenge, it should probably be you. Send Cheney after him.

You Decide

I'm thrilled to say I'm not making this up. Fox Nation has found something that even eluded Glenn Beck!

This is an incredible piece of video. At the 1:20 mark you clearly see some greenish figure moving through the crowd.

Between the crowds of protesters and barricades, the video shows a flowing, pale green image that resembles an erect rider atop a horse in Medieval-like barding. The ethereal figure remains for a few moments before floating over protesters' heads and off the screen.

Is this the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse?"

Yes! It is totally the end of history! The rapture has already started, as per revelations! Quick, buy gold! Wait a minute... if you lived a pure life, you won't NEED gold! Just who is the audience for Fox anyway?

I haven't had so much fun since a couple of weeks ago, when the aliens on V introduced a "machine to identify and extract the human soul."

Happy Valentine's Day!

"Be a Valentine and get me a cup of coffee willya sweetheart?"

-(photo courtesy my old improv pal Barbara Duffy)

I have been known, in the past, to dread Valentine's Day more than any other holiday. And I'm a guy who has major isssues with Christmas, so that means something. This year, as it happens, I'm in love so it's going down pretty easy. I took the lovely LeAnne to a Stan Ridgway concert and dinner over the weekend, so the today will be a cakewalk for me. No pressure!

Still, this is a day of infamy for those with Social Anxiety Disorder, or those who are simply not in a relationship, or men. Love is one of the few things in our society that men aren't in charge of, and it freaks us out. As far as we're concerned if we could keep the whole love thing quiet we'd be a lot happier.

Still, we recognize the importance of love, and we even grudgingly approve of it. So women, be gentle with men today, and men spend a little extra at Godiva for the good stuff. You'll be glad you did.

Some Catching Up to Do

Egypt: See? You can do regime change without spending 3 trillion dollars or killing Americans!

Chris Lee: Shouldn't have resigned. Obviously his marriage is in trouble. His personal life is messy. If we fired everybody who had that problem, unemployment would be closer to 80%. If he was stealing, or trying to pass laws against Craigslist, maybe I'd be singing a different tune; but this shirtless texting has nothing to do with one's ability to govern.

CPAC: It pains me to say this but I think dissention in the ranks is good for the Republican party. When they agreed on everything all the time they wound up going to some pretty nutty places instead of putting the brakes on. A little booing makes them stronger. And if that's how they become stronger, great. I have no quarrel with the sensible Republicans, just the extremist ones. Protest mitigates extremism.

I used to complain that there was no difference between the two parties; now I see that time as the Golden Age.

LA KARAOKE CAST: You haven't heard of this, because they haven't got it off the ground yet. My favorite Karaoke outfit Seize the Mic Entertainment was experimenting last night with U-Stream, potentially making my performance of Spandau Ballet's True available to Tunisians. I'm still on the fence with this one, even though I totally rocked True. They promised me they will allow shy singers to opt out, because after all anything that goes on the internet is potentially forever trapped in digital amber. Even if no one is watching live, that don't mean they won't later. And if you think a picture of Brent Favre's junk is bad for a career, imagine a wobbly rendition of New York New York. Anyway, it's moot as of right now because they couldn't iron out the kinks by the time I left. Which is a shame because, did I mention? I totally rocked True.

Chief Executive Decision

Further thoughts regarding the President's interview on Superbowl Sunday (by the way, who won?) - I've been puzzling about this. Fox News, repeatedly has made the claim that their policy to present "fair and balanced news." When you point out that the hosts of most of their programming are conservatives they will say that they have opinion shows and NEWS shows, and that the news shows are unbiased.

So my question is, for the Superbowl interview on Fox TV (not Fox News) why not send one of the News people instead of O'Reilly? Why not Chris Wallace, who anchors Fox News Sunday? It just doesn't seem like the decision of a fair and balanced news department to use O'Reilly, because you've acknowleged that he has a conservative bias.

No Wonder Sarah Palin Won't Talk to the Press!

"Let's never forget, we're the real story, not them." Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks), Broadcast News

Wink, Wink

Environmental obstructionists found a federal judge in Missoula that was willing to ignore the scientific evidence as well as the expert opinions of on-the-ground wildlife managers here in Montana. And he ruled last August that the grey wolf had to remain on the Endangered Species List.

When I first heard his decision, like many of you I wanted to take action immediately. I asked: how can we put some of these judicial activists on the Endangered Species List? I am still working on that!

Montana's Congressman, Denny Rehberg, in his speech to a Joint Session of the 62nd Montana State Legislature. Italics mine.

Glenn Beck Surprisingly Not In Favor of "Free Speech" Any More

I'm not sure what conclusions he's reaching here, but I think he's saying that allowing people to talk like that will lead to a holocaust. Allowing a man in the street to speak his mind. Just imagine if a maniac like that had a show on a top-rated cable network!

Like A Pendulum Do

The free market may, in the opinion of John Avlon of the Daily Beast, bring about the return of sensible political discourse. He uses the occasion of Keith Olbermann's departure from MSNBC to look at the state of cable news ratings.

Here's a snapshot side-by-side comparison of their slide: On January 20th of last year, Olbermann reached an estimated 251,000 people aged 25-to-54 at 8 p.m., according to data kept by TVNewser.com. Exactly one year later, this past Thursday, he reached only 198,000—a decline of nearly 20 percent.

Beck's collapse was even steeper over the same period. On January 20th of 2010, he was flying high at a point of maximum influence coincident with Tea Party enthusiasm, reaching 965,000 in the 24-to-55 demographic. On 1/20/11, Beck reached roughly one-third that number at 5 p.m.—only 377,000.

To be sure, even at their reduced rates of viewership, both men were leaders at their respective networks. But the trend lines are clear—both hosts were trending down by double digits in the first four months of last year—and comforting from an independent's perspective.

Similarly, I'm not supposed to mention someone all through February, but check out this trending!


(if it isn't working, try this.)

Congress, meanwhile is trending up since November. You could argue that it's because there are more Republicans now, or you could argue that seeing them actually compromise and pass a bunch of laws in the lame duck session was appealing to people.



For my part, I'm tired of hateful, demonizing rhetoric. In addition to the corrosiveness, it really paints people into rhetorical corners which limit them later on.

Humor or Hypocrisy? Harder to Tell Than You Think

Can I just say at the outset that sarcasm is not a good launching off point for lawmaking? Therefore, let's do these guys the courtesy of assuming that they're not that childish, and this is a serious issue to them.

Five South Dakota lawmakers have introduced legislation that would require any adult 21 or older to buy a firearm “sufficient to provide for their ordinary self-defense.”

The bill, which would take effect Jan. 1, 2012, would give people six months to acquire a firearm after turning 21. The provision does not apply to people who are barred from owning a firearm.

Nor does the measure specify what type of firearm. Instead, residents would pick one “suitable to their temperament, physical capacity, and preference.”

The measure is known as an act “to provide for an individual mandate to adult citizens to provide for the self defense of themselves and others.”

The self defense of others! Just sayin'.

So in other words, Quakers and Muslims alike must be armed if this bill passes in South Dakota. And it will be a state in which everyone is required to own a firearm but no one is required to be TRAINED IN ITS USE. And teens will be at the mercy of every armed adult within shooting distance, defenseless.

Of course, they say it's just a gag.

The humor, of course, is passing some by. But I spoke to Rep. Wick about the proposal—the funny, clever idea he had for getting under the skin of everybody who thinks the health-care bill is constitutional. And he clearly gets the joke he’s made, both the bite of the thing and the comedy. If the government can force us to buy and keep health insurance, then why can’t it compel us to keep and bear guns?

Yeah, right, humor. "Those Asians - they just can't drive! Ha ha, just kidding." They're not kidding. They'd be thrilled to death (literally) if we all had to own guns. Every time there is a shooting in a high school, it's a conservative who suggests that this tragedy could be avoided if ALL the kids were armed. Ideally, the Republicans want poor people to be armed to the teeth without being able to afford medical care, because that would thin their ranks.

Ha ha, just kidding.