Atonement

It's Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I'm an Atheist so I'm under no obligation to atone for anything. However, this also means my options are wide open. I can atone or not atone. O happy Godlessness!

So I'm atoning. Is that so wrong?

First of all, I atone for being in the tank for Barack "That One" Obama. I support him even though he's a Muslim, a secret non-violent terrorst, too black and not black enough, and a christian who attended angry services for twenty years, all the while pretending to not be Muslim. Oh, and angry angry angry. You can tell from the angry speeches about "hope" and "reaching across the aisle." You know what? My blind hatred of John McCain must have driven me to support Obama. I'm obviously confused.

I also atone for not praising John McCain in the debates - you know what? He loves America enough to not bother wearing one of those flag lapel pins, while Obama flaunted his hatred of the country by wearing one. Sneaky terrorist Obama! And McCain has a plan for America, which is simple and elegant - No President Obama! The rest will take care of itself.

I'm sorry that I suffered from Bush Derangement Syndrome for the past seven years. I bet I look pretty stupid now!

I never should have said anything about Sarah Palin. As Republicans have proved, the proper way to treat her is to stop discussing her at all. Don't ask, don't tell, eh Sarah? *wink*

Big appies to God, for not believing in him. Logic will tell you to question the sincerity of that.

It was terribly racist of me to suggest that any white people are racist. Except Democrats of course. Obviously, racism is a thing that never crosses party lines. Logic will tell you this is okay, because as a Democrat I can be racist enough to suggest that some Republicans are racist, even if they don't know it.

One thing I can avoid atoning for - when I had a mortgage, I insisted on a 30-year-fixed, 20% down that I could afford. And when we sold the house last year, we turned a profit. So at least I'm not part of THAT problem.

Finally, I apologize to the Jews, for using a solemn holy day of theirs as a platform for my snarky observations. Granted they've had worse over the millenia, but I can't atone for those guys.